family, early marriage, socializing

The sun crept in around my drapes this morning before I was ready as I was out later than usual last evening. Our pastor hosted a picnic at his home for our S.S. class. I had planned to drive myself to his home. However in the directions to his home he had asked us to share rides due to limited parking space. So it was determined that I would ride over with a couple in our class. When I arrived at the home of the couple, I phoned them to say I was early and would wait in my car until they were ready.

Soon after, the gentleman came out carrying a cake and said his wife was not feeling well so she was not coming. As we drove along I learned a lot about him. One topic brought up another and it all started with the fact that he was having moisture problems in his house. His kitchen floor was being replaced and the entire house had been in turmoil all week, I countered with information about having a series of major repairs in my home this year. This led to hobbies and gardening and being passionate about hobbies. It seems his big interest was golf. In the past he and his wife played weekly and he laughingly told about how his wife had once beat him in a game, no doubt to his surprise.

When we arrived at the picnic, he jokingly told the group that he did not bring his wife but he did bring me. This all reminds me of some events in my early marriage years. My husband and I spent the first three summers of our marriage at Peabody College in Nashville, Tenn. He took those summers to work on a masters degree and work he did !!
Each day and night was spent in class and in studies. One evening of each week we had a date night. The rest of the time I was on my own. I kept house, prepared meals, read, helped a girlfriend with illustratins for a project, sunbathed and played tennis with a male friend from my college days. It was all innocent and aboveboard. However, after a few days of tennis my husband calmly told me that he would prefer that I not play tennis with this friend. It had never occurred to me that this was inappropriate. I was merely filling in time while he studied. Of course I readily complied.

The tennis incident was brought to mind after I came home last night. I always leave my radio playing when I leave home and last night Alan Hunt's talk show was on. He always talks about what is right and what is wrong, not what is right and what is left, politically. His focus was the headline news this week re: the governor of South Carolina who was having an affair with a girl from Argentina. His take on the issue was that the governor had not received the strokes he needed from his wife, for his big ego. If I got the gist of it, all powerful men have big egoes and this man's wife was a distinguished person on her own. She was doing her job raising four boys while he was being governor and somewhere along the way mothering was taking most of her attention. Thus her husband felt neglected.

I think my young husband was wise in his suggestion regarding the tennis. He was indeed older (four years) then me and wiser ( having gone through a war in Europe ). In contrast I was brought up in a big family, all very church oriented, in a secluded mountain town in southeastern Kentucky. At another time in our marriage - after two children and a move to the eastern shore of Maryland - he calmly told me that I was too friendly around men and they did not understand that. I appreciated this information as I did not realize that I was doing such a thing. At around this tme it was common practice for men to go door to door selling things. I had allowed a saleman to come into our home to demonstrate a vacuum cleaner, it was common practice and in no way did I see it as an unwise thing to do since I did need a vacuum cleaner. After this incident he asked me not to allow any salesmen in our home when he was absent. In the present time no woman would dare allow a stranger into their home, even with her husband present.

In this line of thought,consideration and cooperation in any relationship is like a glue that holds it together.

My son likes to hear stories about his father, had you heard these stories my son???