How We Used to Deal With Stress

My niece, who lives in Arizona sent me an email with a lot of pictures about "how it used to be over fifty years ago".  One showed a swing on a porch and people grouped around  (and in) it.  It was a very relaxed scene.

In the 1930's we had a very long swing on our front porch. This swing was painted green.  A lot of us could safely sit in it and swing or just sit and talk.  Having a swing like that was a real stress reliever.  You could swing it out or talk it out.  That is only of the things that I believe accounts for us in that time, to not need pills to regulate our stress levels.  In fact it was not known that such things were in existence, if in fact they were.

Television had not been invented, and in some homes, no radios, we were forced to find our own entertainment with board games and made up games.  We did not have a lot of free time on our hands as everyone in our family had to pitch in to keep things running smoothly.

During my growing up years we did not have super highways to get us to far away places so folks tended to live in the same area most of their lives.  We also did not have the kind of cars to travel such highways.  Families in small towns led church and school centered lives, where activities kept you close to home and within walking distance of the events.   After the ford cars came into production any family who had a ford, just had one car.  Not a lot of women could drive - my mother never learned to drive.  All of her children did however, as they grew up, moved away, and it became necessary for them to get to work, etc. 

People depended upon each other for many things.  Families shared chores, as well as crops they grew.  Our way of life gradually began to change. I well remember when oleo margarine came into being.  It came in a plastic bag with a little capsule inside which was broken and then the color in it was kneaded into white oleo to make it yellow like butter.  Because we had cows we always had butter but when we no longer had cows and lived in a small town and no longer on a farm, a lot of things changed, including the switch to oleo.

World War II initiated a movement toward the cities where manufacturing was in full force creating materials needed to fight the war.  We gradually were being introduced to newer things, newer situations, newer people and more stress.  Technology was  not standing still during this upheaval, nor was medical science.  As the need arose, the solution was being created to meet it.  Life gradually became more stressful and a pill was there to  relieve the stress or pain or what ever presented itself.  The family unit was being scattered and the comfort which families provided for each other was being scattered also.

Not that there was no stress, just that we had another way of relieving it.  When my brother Bill was away during the war and in a far eastern  section of the world, he could not tell our mother where he was, as letters were censored.  So, before he left they devised a system whereby he could let her know where he was without divulging it to others.  Each paragraph in his letters would begin with the first letter of the place where he was, and she could string them together and find on a map, just where he was.  This gave her a sense of some control over the situation, thus somewhat relieving the stress of not knowing exactly where he was during the war.

A lot of stress we create for outselves.  Living in the time of my childhood there was less to distract you and make you worry.  Of cource it could just have been my perception of how it was.  But even if my parents were stressed they had no pills for it so an evening spent swinging and looking up at the stars was a nice quiet way to wind down from the day, and no pills were there to help.  We had to find natural ways to calm ourselves down.

Darn Deer

My confidence in gardening has just been shot to - well somewhere!

This morning I found a zillion deer tracks inside my electric fenced area of my raised beds.  They really like my tomatoes, but so do I !!!!  If they like cucumbers they will not find any in my garden.  I know this because I cannot find any either!  I did find one about two weeks ago that was about fourteen inches long, and it was put into bread and butter pickles.  Now I have a second one that I picked today.  I hate to give up on growing this particular type of cucumber as they have thin skins and no seeds  to speak of, thus they make great pickles.  Years ago I grew them very successfully, but this is the third year that they have failed to produce.

To add insult to injury, it appears that the deer have stripped my Muscadine vines of  their grapes, and they have not even ripened yet!  I still have two vines which have prize grapes, to me.  They are large and purple and taste so wonderful.  The deer may be avoiding them because they are in  a spot away from the ones along the road.  My neighbors are always telling me that they see deer in my vineyard but I cannot see the vines from my house, so I miss a lot of those sightings.  A few days ago I did see a doe with her new babies.  They still had spots on them, and they did not linger there when they saw my car.   It was fun to see but not so much fun that I want to repeat the experience at the expense of my lovely grapes.

So far the deer have not shown a taste for the kiwi.  They may have tried them and were put off by the fuzzy skin, so at least I will get something from my garden.  And it is little comfort to know they cannot climb the fig tree, since the birds can fly in and consume all they want from the top.

Oh well, there are a few measures I can take, like putting out milorganite where the tomatoes are and next year before grapes appear I can put it around in the vineyard.  That has worked in the  past around my flowers.

I will probably get no sympathy from my grandsons other grandmother who  lives in West Milford, New Jersey.  Not only does she have to share with the deer but bears as well.  They have  come up on her porch and bring their babies over to check out her yard.  She takes measures to deter them, like garbage cans with special locks designed to keep out the  bears.  I think she is pretty brave to even live on that mountain, but she loves the lake that goes with it and it has been her home for too many years to even think of moving to the city.

I have had to adjust to planting flowers and plants which the deer do not like to feed on so I must shift gears and concentrate on growing things other than tomatoes.  I have heard that if the deer are hungry enough they will eat anything.  If that is true then I must raise the white flag and retreat to indoor hobbies and  then perhaps I will look upon them as dear deer and not darn deer.

A Poet in Your Pocket

Part of keeping on keeping on is finding constructive ways to spend my time.  I have been able to read some very interesting books because my son brought some "loaner" books up to me to enjoy this summer.  The one I am reading right now is John Adams by David McCullough. 

Something John Adams  wrote to his son,John Quincy, while he was away at University caught my attention.  He was admonishing John Quincy to keep on with his studies while he had the opportunity and to not forget that the Arts were an important part of a well balanced life also.  This is part of what he wrote:  "You will never be alone with a poet in your pocket.  You will never have an idle hour."

I think writing poetry is something that comes from deep within you.  At a very young age I came up with a poem while I was being held up to a window so that I could see outside.  It was a two line poem when I was just beginning to talk.  I am not inclined to write it here as it had a word in it which is rather crude.  I cannot imagine that I was taught to say such things as we were brought up in a strict home where crude language was not tolerated.  But the incident tells me that you either have an inclination for writing poetry or you do not.

Many years later I asked my older sister, who was most likely the one who was holding me up to the window, if I really said that.  She assured me that indeed I did!  So, I must accept that I did, and try to put a good spin on it!!

Growing up I was not formally introduced to poetry and had never given a thought to composing it, nor was I interested in reading it.  I will say that I loved the poems of Robert Louis Stevenson.  I was intrigued with "A birdie with a yellow bill, hopped upon my window sill, cocked his shining eye and said, "ain't you shamed you sleepy head?"  I think I liked the saucy little bird.  It was only when I joined the Northeast Georgia Writers Group a few years ago that I first attempted to write a poem.  Each year this group of writers, some published, some not, have an annual contest.  On the list of categories for entries was poetry.  It was then that I decided to try this form of writing.

I decided to do a Limerick.  In fact I did four, which all had the theme of misadventure bound within them.  I was very surprised when I won first place for these silly poems.  This was like encouraging an idiot to keep on being an idiot!  So, I have kept on being an idiot and loved doing it.

Since that one bit of encouragement I have branched out and find that writing poetry is a rather fun thing to do.  Not everyone will like what I write, but that is expected and acceptable to me.  I do it for my own enjoyment.  So, with that in mind, I will share some poems I have written, some light hearted, some thoughtful, but they all sprang from within me at different times.

Rain

I awakened to thunder
At first I thought it nature's blunder
I put my feet upon the floor
And quickly opened up the door
Then I saw that all was wet
And knew I did not need to get
My hose and outside shoes
Just go back for another snooze

Balloons

Light, airy, knock them up, send them flying
Find the next one, hit it too, keep the game going
It is only play, we celebrate the birthday, the day, the family
We laugh with carefree abandon,
Tomorrow can wait, today there is joy,
Hugs, kisses,hopes fulfilled,
No need to travel further than this day, this time, this moment

I Can Only Imagine

I can only imagine how it would be
If all I ever could hope to see
Was white upon white
Even at night
Nothing in sight that was colorful, bright
No tulips or roses, daisies or violets blue
Or any other vibrant hue
Or missing the joy of seeking and seeing,
What greenery comes creeping up through
Brown earth and reaching toward sky

Happy reading to you all, whether it is poetry or prose.

Keep On Keeping On

Someone close to me used to say to me when he was leaving, "keep on keeping on".  He would also say upon leaving, "be sweet".  At the time I did not pay much attention to the words as I heard them often and that is probably why I remember them at all. 

With the long hot summer we are experiencing here in the southeastern part of the United States, those words came back to me.  When the temperatures outside are unbearable you are forced to find ways to "keep on keeping on".

Mostly it is keeping on indoors.  Fortunately my house has new soundproof windows and a newly repaired A/C so it is pleasant to stay indoors all day.  I find I can 'keep on' if I can get out in the less hot part of the day-early morning- to check on growing things or turn on the water to water my small garden, blueberry patch or new pecan tree.  Jim has made it possible for me to water this way by putting in well placed hoses and sprinklers.

I am now reaping the rewards of that watering by having fresh blueberries and some fine tomatoes, green beans and now slowly arriving burpless cucumbers.  Yesterday I made the first batch of bread and butter pickles from those cucumbers which make the  best pickles ever.  I like to give each batch  its own name so this one is "Big C" because one of the cucumbers had grown to over 12 inches!

Having more produce than one person can use allows me to share with my family as things are harvested.  Figs will be the next fruit to be ready for picking.  They make great jam and are so tasty with milk for breakfast.

Being able to share fresh foods which are God's gift to me allows me to say in my own way "keep on keeping on' and "be sweet".

"I know you by name"

If you look in the Bible in the 33rd chapter of Exodus, verse 17, you will find the words that God spoke to Moses in one of their conversations about the plan which God had for Moses.  First God told Moses that His presence would be with him in this plan.  Then  God told Moses that He knew him by name.

That is a powerful statement.  It is a lot like saying "I know where you live", in a veiled threat.  But God meant it as a reminder that He sanctioned the plan He had for Moses and the people of Israel.

It is pretty awesome to think that God knows you by name.  It is comforting and at the same time scary.  It means you have a lot to live up to and it is powerful.  Can you imagine going all year in a classroom with a teacher who did not know your name?  In most classrooms by the second day the children appear, the teacher knows his/her name.  In most cases the teacher knew the name before the child entered the door and has prepared a name and attached it to the child's desk.  It is a good plan and establishes where the child will be "living" that school year and it establishes boundaries that all can identify.  In much the same way, God knew you before you appeared.

But getting back to God knowing your name,  it is a good thought to keep with you as you go through a difficult time.  "Robert, (or Alice or Sam)this is a hard thing you are experiencing right now but remember that you do not have to go it alone, I am present with you, and I know your name."  God is there in many ways, sending help in human form, or in ways you may never realize.

If life is especially hard for you right now, focus on God's presence being with you.  It is a powerful thing to experience God's presence, to know that He knows your name.

Do Your Words Define You?

When I was growing up in the 1940's, we never heard any "bad words" at home or at school.  Later in life I learned that when people do use those "bad words" it was an indication of frustration, and my attitude about using them began to soften- toward the user.

As a young lady I had picked up an expression while in college of saying "Oh hell" when something went wrong.  It was such a habit  that I did not even realize I was saying it.  My new husband, who simply did not use coarse language, asked me to stop saying that as it was not ladylike.  Of course I corrected that habit immediately, perhaps because I was so shocked to have my new husband ask me to!

When we were living in Maryland as a young couple we made friends with other teachers who came from different parts of the east.  One couple in particular had three little girls and we visited a lot with them.  He told a story once of being in Memphis Tenn for some occasion and he got on an elevator.  The person who came on after him said "Will you mash 3"?  This made us all laugh. He said that was when he knew he was in Tennessee.  Certain words seem to emanate from particular regions of the country and he was a native of Tennessee.

It isn't often that you go into a doctor's office and end up making him laugh - when you did not intend to.  But I did it once.  When my doctor checked my blood pressure he said "Your blood pressure is a little high".  I said that I had just come from the dentist and that would give anybody the "heebie-jeebies".  When he stopped laughing, he said  "Rose, you are delightful".
I did not laugh with him as I saw nothing funny in what I said, it was a word I used sometimes.

When I had been living in Maryland for almost a year, I was called home to Kentucky as my father had a stroke and I went home to help my mother.  He was at home and did need a lot of care.  It was a stressful time for my mother, my sister and me.  We were all in the bedroom with him one day and were trying to change the sheets on his bed.  I guess one of us did something that was out of logical order  and we all began giggling which went on for too long.  My father said to us "Now, let's maintain decorum".  That brought us all back to cold reality.  We were all so stressed it turned into giggles.

Words and the power of words have always fascinated me.  If you search your memory for the things you remember and either feel encouraged to recall, or feel downcast to recall, the words you remember have some kind of power to still be in your memory. 

On our public television here in Georgia, Charlie Rose interviews people who have some significance in the political, business, literary or entertainment world.  It is my "go to" program for an interesting hour in the middle of the day.  It makes for good company while I have my noontime lunch.  What interests me most is the spoken word by the guests around his table.  You are bound to hear something new which challenges you to want to know more.  I used to love to hear William S. Buckley (founder of The National Review - in 1955) speak for his choice of words always intrigued me.

Nutritionists will say that you are what you eat.  My mother used to say that you are what you read.  I certainly believe that you are a product of your environment, what ever it may be.  We are influenced by many things and we are prone to absorb language that we are exposed to.  My childhood friend was raised in the mountains and used to say "Hidy" as a greeting.  That is a word from Appalachia if ever there was one.  Even though she was well trained in Music and was a performer all her life she still used that greeting even in old age.  I rather admire her for it, as she felt perfectly at home greeting you with "Hidy", it was a word from her childhood and a rather affectionate one at that.  It defined who she was.  Amen!

June Surprise

 I had been waiting for this first bloom to appear.  But when I saw it, I was taken aback.  The buds on the other bushes were larger and usually have the first bloom.  So, when I set my eyes on this perfect, first bloom, on the first day of June, I fairly squealed.  Upon close examination it appears to be holding out six arms in welcome.  The inner part is still folded in a tight promise to open soon.

The gardenia is one of those flowers that delivers on its promise of a heavenly scent, ready to meet your senses when you wander into its territory. 

If this isn't heaven, then it must be a little "teaser" of what it will be like.  It does not promise to stay all summer, rather only long enough to make you want more.  I know that I can expect a few weeks of these welcome blooms, coming, turning brown and unless you pull the dead blooms off, they will hang on for a long time.

I did notice a whitefly moving about so some gardening chores are awaiting me.  Whiteflies are prone to appear on these bushes, so I am prepared.  I have a systemic solution and will waste no time in applying it to the ground around this otherwise healthy bush.

If you do not have a Gardenia bush in your landscape, I urge you to find a spot for one.  The north side of your house or in a spot where they can have some sun with plenty of shade, will be ideal for growing your Gardenia. You will be rewarded over and over again for your efforts