For My Children

Today I want to share some things with you that you may not know about your father.

Once when visiting with his parents in Va. I saw a picture of him when he was about three years ago. He was in a group with his brothers. I must say he was the cutest little boy ever. He had those dark eyes and hair, from his Indian heritage no doubt. I have pictures of him in high school and in college and of course after we were married.

Did you know that he was baptized after we were married. Our Presbyterian minister at the Harlan First Presbyterian church was Ed Dalstrom and he kept after Ray until he finally was convinced that it was the thing to do. The Sunday that it happened I think I hurt him inadvertently. He told me later that after he came back to the pew where I was seated, waiting for him, that I did not look at him. Baptisms were old hat to me but for him it was a momentous occasion. I was really sorry that I had offended him in such a way. In my immaturity I had misjudged the occasion.

His mother told me a story about him when he was around two. Apparently he still used a bottle and had taken it out with him into the yard. He left it outside and the next day when he found it, it had a big slug crawling on it. Well, that was when he gave up the bottle !!

His mother was part Creek Indian and was a tall rawboned woman. Ray once showed me the place where she grew up. It was called Crackers Hollow and that is what it looked like, the area between two mountains. We did not go there just looked in that direction. Her father had been connected to the law enforcement and was a crack shot. A good thing if you are in law enforcement. She was very young when they married, but people did that in those days. She was only 14 and he was 17.

The first time she came to visit us she asked me if I had an aspirin. I asked if she had a headache. She told me no, but she wanted to take one just in case she did. That was a new idea to me. She loved gardening and when I first met her she took me out to see her dahlias. They were huge. She gave me a big red one to pin on my dress. She cooked eggs for me and they were fresh from the hens. Also they were fried in bacon grease which made them also very tasty. She made a dressing for her cold slaw by using cream with a bit of sugar and vinegar added in. Very tasty. Ray was very respectful of his parents, although he and his father had some heated "debates" from time to time. His father was a staunch Democrat and Ray a Republican.

Growing up in his family they knew hard times. His father was a mine electrician and when the miners went on strike he was not able to work. Ray once told me that one morning his mother did not have anything to cook for breakfast so she sent him out to pick apples from a tree that did not belong to them. My understanding is that it was a huge old tree and not growing in any one's yard. Perhaps it was common practice to do that, but he told it to me to make a point of how hard times had been. His father would sometimes have to travel to different places to find work and would be gone for two weeks at a time. I am sure that was not easy on the family.

I cannot remember Ray ever using foul language. In fact he took me to task when we were first married as I had a bad habit of saying "Oh, Hell" when I became frustrated. It was not something I said in front of anyone else, and he got me out of the habit very quickly, simply by pointing it out to me. He did not criticize people in his acquaintance. He would have plenty to say about world affairs, but not about people in a negative way.

He was so very good to my mother when she came to visit. She was ready to go at the drop of a hat and so was he. I stayed at home ( I was expecting Bruce at the time and I was required to stay in bed most of the time.) So the two of them would take off for Washington, D.C. or where ever or to whatever was interesting at the time. When Bonnie was born and I was at home on Easter he bought a corsage for her to wear to church with him. As I recall I was not forgotten as he had for me a box of candy in a box shaped like an Easter hat.

He was devoted to his family. He was so proud of his children and loved to get down on the floor and play with them. We, as a family spent most of our week-ends on outings after church. Picnics were our favorite thing to do and not many week-ends went by without us all going on some outing to a park or fort or historical place around the Baltimore, Washington area. After we bought a lot on Kent Island we spent a lot of time there and often took others with us. Some times we would go by boat and other times by car. At that time the Chesapeake Bay bridge was single lane and sometimes we had to wait for a long line of traffic to abate before we could cross.

When he graduated from the eight grade Ray received a certificate for having the best grades in the county for his grade. I am not sure where he was in school then but he graduated from high school in Evarts, Ky.

Ray was a talker. When I first met him he introduced me to one of his friends. The friend said "so you finally found a girl who would listen to you". On one of our early dates he was full of talk about the history of Korea. He belonged to the World Affairs Club at Eastern and I wonder if any of the other members ever got a chance to speak !! At Eastern he had a part time job keeping the tennis courts in order. I played when I could and once while I was sitting and talking to him a friend came by and asked me for a date. I already had a date with Ray for that evening, but Ray quickly spoke up and said "Why don't you go, I think you would enjoy it". That was a very gentlemanly thing to do. I was in a bad spot and he helped me out of it. I did go and it was a nice hay ride.

There is much more I can tell you, my children and I will do so at another time. But for now, your father was a disciplined, considerate, intelligent, high minded man who had been off to war and knew how to appreciate freedom and to appreciate a young lady who came from a respected, church oriented family.