Visions From the Past

I often dream of being back in the classroom. Circumstances are always different but the one constant is chaos. My conscious mind tells me that at these times I am trying to sort out some situation in my present life. I do not ever remember chaos in my classrooms , it was always orderly, often a quiet murmur was in the air of students busy with their tasks or working at their centers.

Some of the things I do remember happening which were not part of the murmur of busy students do come to mind. Once when the children were out playing one of the boys came down the slide head first and momentum kept him going into the ground below. He came up bloody as he had somehow gotten a tooth through his tongue ! This happened at a county school called Twila. The principal and I took him to the camp doctor and he fixed him up right away. Needless to say, from that day forward this child came down the slide in a seated position.

In that same school there was no central heat. By prior arrangement a big eighth grade boy would come to the classroom before anyone else was there and build a fire in our pot bellied stove. The children were accustomed to this kind of heat source and knew to keep a safe distance. Fortunately we never had a burnt hand or anything else. However this same fire builder was unhappy with me. He had a little brother in my class and something which I cannot remember caused him to approach me in a very belligerent way. I was no match for this big boy and would not have wanted to tangle with him. Some of the mountain people could be very aggressive if they felt they had been wronged. By using tact and diplomacy I was able to alleviate the situation and calm him down. I had never been approached in such a manner before and did not want to give him reason to return with intended harm toward me. That incident stands out as it was the only time such a thing had happened.

My last year in the county I was at a school in a mining camp called Chevrolet. I had a precious little blue eyed, blond haired boy named Paris. He came to school in immaculate overalls each day. I had never had such a talker before. It was impossible for him to not talk. It was a nervous condition I feel sure. His mother gave me some history about his condition which she thought had caused the constant talking. Of course his mother was protective regarding Paris but it was not possible for him to learn with this physical problem. His mother quite plainly told me it was my fault that he did not learn. She did not offer an explanation as to why all of the other children did learn !! I always felt sorry about this little boy. If at that time we had access to our modern day school techniques of testing children or doctors who could diagnose his medical condition perhaps he could have been helped. Since I was not back there again I do not know what happened to that beautiful little boy.

In this county where I taught we had a program for teachers which was under the auspices of the University of Maryland. It was voluntary and I attended a group meeting each week in the evening. The leader of the group was a former principal of mine when I was in junior high. Her name was Ruby Carter. We each selected one of our students to study for the year. We kept notes and shared anecdotes regarding this child. We would discuss these in our group in order to gain some insight into the behaviors which caused us to choose that child. This was all confidential and I found it interesting and informative. The child I chose was Paris. Whereas our county was progressive in this child study area there was no money for trained psychologists or special education teachers.

As all of this took place in the late 1940's and early 1950's it is understandable that more help was not available for this little boy. He will always have a place in my heart and also a deep regret that I could not help him. At the end of the year he had learned to recognize 9 words.

Illness And Crisis Resolution

Most of the time we had no illness in our family, but there were occasions when we had short crisises. The first was when I had acute appendicitis at the end of our second school year together. School was out on a Friday and in the middle of the night I began to have pain in my stomach and was running a high fever and chilling. As soon as day came your dad took me to a doctor I knew about but had never met. He immediately put me in the hospital for emergency surgery. I remember telling your dad not to tell my mother about it until it was all over. When I awakened from the surgery in my room and saw my mother, I burst into tears, it was so comforting to have her there. We were scheduled to go to Peabody in a few days and your dad made a bed for me in the back of the car so I could travel more easily. Also during my recuperation he cooked a meal for me. As I recall he had pork chops, apple salad and I believe blueberry muffins. Not bad for someone who did not cook..

When Bonnie and Bruce were very young your dad became ill. He was working long hours and he came down with strep throat. The medicines which he was given were not taking effect, but he kept on working when he really should not have. Finally he was sent to a throat specialist and was told he had "quinsy", something that pigs get from not being treated. Essentially it was a boil in the throat. This doctor "burned" the boil out and that almost did him in. I was afraid to drive at the time and he wanted me to drive him home, I begged off and so he did drive himself. He was probably thinking I was a first class wimp but he did not say so. During that illness he was given every drug the doctor could think of to cure this infection. The one I remember was trichlormethiazide. He told us he used it as a last resort. After Ray was over the infection, he began to have pains in the ends of his fingers. The same doctor was concerned as this same drug he gave reluctantly, could cause cancer. We had to take his word for this and we were both very concerned. I clearly remember us standing in the middle of the living room with our arms around each other and praying, willing to accept whatever God was sending us to handle. Thankfully, he recovered and life went on.

As far as his illnesses I think that was it. When he was in his forties he was diagnosed with very high cholesterol however. His doctor ( a former Navy doctor) gave him drugs to hopefully get it down but they did no good at all. So, diet and exercise was the only solution. I did my part by preparing "clean" food. I remember back then it was recommended to take 2 tablespoons of corn oil each day. I bought diet books and made food as palatable as possible. He began a running program and since he was traveling a lot he would run in place. This was having some positive effect. How much longer it would have helped I do not know as we moved to Georgia and after a year here he lost his life in an automobile accident. We were all in shock and for some time struggled to lead normal lives.

Some things took precedent over others. The immediate situation was that we had purchased a home one week prior and settlement had been made. There was a move to take place and the men of our church insisted on moving us into our new home. It was about two blocks from the house where we were living. I really did not want them to do this as we had a piano to move, no small task and my daughter wanted it upstairs close to her bedroom. Somehow it was all accomplished without any serious injury ! There were improvements in the house which needed attention and I threw myself into that task. I remember being up at 2:00 in the morning using a steamer to remove old wallpaper from the living room walls.

Since I was the only driver there were many trips to be made which involved teen activities at school and church and sporting events as my son was playing football. Also band trips, scouting events and trips to school for special performances and much more. Thankfully by this time I was not timid about driving. Necessity causes us to adapt quickly when no one is there to help.

I had already begun the process of certification to teach in the state of Georgia. I had finished a 5 hour class at Dekalb College in teaching reading and it seemed the only thing to do was take the next 5 hours. I enrolled at Mercer University for this class in teaching Social Studies. Ray and I had already planned for me to work and help pay for Bonnie's college education. This was the obvious next step. Fortunately I was financially able to put off working for a while and help us all adjust to this new life. Working is a natural solution for me in problem solving, or in times of stress. I think my mother did the same thing. When we saw her cleaning wallpaper ( I doubt that is done in this day and time) we knew she had something serious on her mind.

What I did was volunteer in various ways. I was already teaching a Sunday School class of second graders at our church. I began to serve as deacon also. And I began working with Villa International in Decatur. This involved driving families of doctors who were in temporary studies at the CDC. While the doctors studied the wives and children lived at International Villa and I helped by taking them where they wanted to go. We became good friends with a family from Mexico and also one from Libya. The Mexican doctor pierced Bonnie's ears for her. I was against her doing that but she convinced me that the good doctor would do it right !! The family from Libya invited us to their home for a meal on a special occasion. I remember that the mother cooked chicken in tomatoes and I added that dish to my own favorites.

Another place where I volunteered was the Davidson School for the Deaf in North Druid Hills. I did whatever was suggested by the directors. I remember driving other older people who could no longer drive.

It also became necessary for me to buy a new car. Our neighbor offered to help in this area as the husband was a car salesman. I declined as I thought I needed to look for an inexpensive car. When I went shopping the salesman must have thought I was out of my mind as I insisted upon a manual shift. He had to look hard to find such a car, but finally did, a Dodge Polaris. In my naivete I thought it would be easier for me to drive what I had learned on, the manual shift. He tried to convince me but to no avail. Bonnie learned to drive in that car and I feel sure it would have been better for her if I had bought one with an automatic shift !! Maybe she would not have hit that mail box at the gate to Stone Mt. Park. OOPS, I should not have told that !!

These activities for me and school , church and visiting family in Ky. all helped us to get through these difficult times. I made a lot of trips to see family when the children were not in school. I think it was affirming for me and for my children too. We all have different ways of coping in times of stress. I suppose we all have to find our own solution as one does not fit all.

More About Dad

Did you know that your dad was in the ROTC when he was in college. He was still in the reserves when he went to Peabody College. He was supposed to register with them so they would know where he was at all times. When he went to Peabody in Tennessee he was told that with the Korean war on ( 1950 ) he had to register there. But he was also told that Tennessee was taking their quota of reserves to call, from out of state men. This is not right so he simply did not register in Tennessee. He was still registered in Kentucky however. Some of his friends who were in the reserves with him and did register were called up and had to go to Korea. We had not been married that long and it certainly would have been disruptive to be called up. Somehow I do not see that as dishonest. But that is what happened.

His first car he bought from a friend for $400. It had a lot of problems but it served us for a while. It was better than no car at all and we needed transportation to get to school in the summer and in the school year. I did not even drive then so I certainly did not need a car. We were living in Harlan and each day I caught a bus to ride to my school. I did that for the first year. The second year I rode with our principal and his wife to Twila, a mining camp outside of town. That was fine except for another woman who rode in the back seat with me and I would carry a lot of books and put them between us as we rode along. That was as close to her as I wanted to get.

Your dad was teaching history and serving as vice principal at a high school. He did not like teaching at all. After we moved to Salisbury Maryland he taught for about a year and then just stopped and got a job in a lab where he was running experiments with a coating for concrete blocks. Now, you see them all the time in buildings everywhere. It was a glazed coating and when he came home his clothing smelled like a chemical used in the coating. I think it was called styrene, but am not sure. But I sure do remember that it was a most disagreeable odor.

He later got a job doing something he really enjoyed, sales !. At first it was the American Art Clay Co. Later he was with a company selling technical training units for DeVry. He was just not cut out for teaching, but selling, well he could do a lot of talking for that !

For a while when we first went to Salisbury I worked at a Nursery Center called Tiny Tots. Then when Bonnie was expected we both wanted me to be at home with her so I stopped doing that. He was working at three jobs to keep up afloat. During the week-days he taught school, on Saturdays he sold paint at Sears and on Sundays he drove charter buses from Salisbury to Norfolk, Va. and often to New York or to Philadelphia. He drove many a sailor for his week-end pass. In Philadelphia he had to walk through a bad part of town on some occasions and he told me that he walked with an iron tool in his hand to protect himself, if need be.

One summer he had a job as an inspector at Campbell Soup Company. He worked at night and he was responsible for seeing that the pipes were properly disinfected for the soup to be run through it the next day. I remember one story about him working with a black man who brought some blackberry wine to work and I am pretty sure they took care of that wine as well.

We had a lot of good friends there, mostly teachers with whom he worked . One of them was a Manual Arts teacher. Now that subject would be taught at a Technical School. This man was named Nick Guiliano and his wife was Fay. We spent a lot of time with them. She could not have children and she loved to come to our house on her lunch break and visit with me and Bonnie. I think they eventually adopted two children and I have lost touch with them. Before we bought our Danish dining room furniture he went to the store and inspected it. He advised us that it was excellent furniture so we bought it for $600. Sounds like a steal now.

Another good teacher friend was Al Manus, his wife Jo and their three little girls. They were from Tennessee. They had a garden and she canned green beans. They were the best green beans I ever tasted ! I think he and Ray were the best buddies of all his friends. this couple was from Tennessee.

We were close friends with the basketball coach and his wife named Georgia. She had a bank job and worked on Saturdays. Every Saturday Bill would come to our house for breakfast. He loved oatmeal but Georgia would not make it, so he had it at our house. Still another couple we met early on was Phylis and Russ Cooper. He worked for the electric company and she worked for the Wicomoco Board of Education. She knew we were new to Salisbury and invited us to dinner. Russ was an avid hunter and she cooked quail and ducks, etc. for us. These were all good friends and sometimes they would all gather at our apartment as we had a large living room. It was a happy time to have so many friends. Most of this was before we had two children for our world to revolve around.

As we were starting a family so were Bill and Georgia. We would have outings with them on occasion until they moved to New Jersey and we moved to another part of Maryland. I still hear from Georgia and the Coopers. The white desk I have beside my front door reminds me of Russ as I bought it from his mother at her antique store, for $10. The last time I heard from Phylis she sent pictures of her children and grandchildren. All very good looking young people.

I will always treasure the good times we had with those couples. I really must try to make contact again, for old times sake.

For My Children

Today I want to share some things with you that you may not know about your father.

Once when visiting with his parents in Va. I saw a picture of him when he was about three years ago. He was in a group with his brothers. I must say he was the cutest little boy ever. He had those dark eyes and hair, from his Indian heritage no doubt. I have pictures of him in high school and in college and of course after we were married.

Did you know that he was baptized after we were married. Our Presbyterian minister at the Harlan First Presbyterian church was Ed Dalstrom and he kept after Ray until he finally was convinced that it was the thing to do. The Sunday that it happened I think I hurt him inadvertently. He told me later that after he came back to the pew where I was seated, waiting for him, that I did not look at him. Baptisms were old hat to me but for him it was a momentous occasion. I was really sorry that I had offended him in such a way. In my immaturity I had misjudged the occasion.

His mother told me a story about him when he was around two. Apparently he still used a bottle and had taken it out with him into the yard. He left it outside and the next day when he found it, it had a big slug crawling on it. Well, that was when he gave up the bottle !!

His mother was part Creek Indian and was a tall rawboned woman. Ray once showed me the place where she grew up. It was called Crackers Hollow and that is what it looked like, the area between two mountains. We did not go there just looked in that direction. Her father had been connected to the law enforcement and was a crack shot. A good thing if you are in law enforcement. She was very young when they married, but people did that in those days. She was only 14 and he was 17.

The first time she came to visit us she asked me if I had an aspirin. I asked if she had a headache. She told me no, but she wanted to take one just in case she did. That was a new idea to me. She loved gardening and when I first met her she took me out to see her dahlias. They were huge. She gave me a big red one to pin on my dress. She cooked eggs for me and they were fresh from the hens. Also they were fried in bacon grease which made them also very tasty. She made a dressing for her cold slaw by using cream with a bit of sugar and vinegar added in. Very tasty. Ray was very respectful of his parents, although he and his father had some heated "debates" from time to time. His father was a staunch Democrat and Ray a Republican.

Growing up in his family they knew hard times. His father was a mine electrician and when the miners went on strike he was not able to work. Ray once told me that one morning his mother did not have anything to cook for breakfast so she sent him out to pick apples from a tree that did not belong to them. My understanding is that it was a huge old tree and not growing in any one's yard. Perhaps it was common practice to do that, but he told it to me to make a point of how hard times had been. His father would sometimes have to travel to different places to find work and would be gone for two weeks at a time. I am sure that was not easy on the family.

I cannot remember Ray ever using foul language. In fact he took me to task when we were first married as I had a bad habit of saying "Oh, Hell" when I became frustrated. It was not something I said in front of anyone else, and he got me out of the habit very quickly, simply by pointing it out to me. He did not criticize people in his acquaintance. He would have plenty to say about world affairs, but not about people in a negative way.

He was so very good to my mother when she came to visit. She was ready to go at the drop of a hat and so was he. I stayed at home ( I was expecting Bruce at the time and I was required to stay in bed most of the time.) So the two of them would take off for Washington, D.C. or where ever or to whatever was interesting at the time. When Bonnie was born and I was at home on Easter he bought a corsage for her to wear to church with him. As I recall I was not forgotten as he had for me a box of candy in a box shaped like an Easter hat.

He was devoted to his family. He was so proud of his children and loved to get down on the floor and play with them. We, as a family spent most of our week-ends on outings after church. Picnics were our favorite thing to do and not many week-ends went by without us all going on some outing to a park or fort or historical place around the Baltimore, Washington area. After we bought a lot on Kent Island we spent a lot of time there and often took others with us. Some times we would go by boat and other times by car. At that time the Chesapeake Bay bridge was single lane and sometimes we had to wait for a long line of traffic to abate before we could cross.

When he graduated from the eight grade Ray received a certificate for having the best grades in the county for his grade. I am not sure where he was in school then but he graduated from high school in Evarts, Ky.

Ray was a talker. When I first met him he introduced me to one of his friends. The friend said "so you finally found a girl who would listen to you". On one of our early dates he was full of talk about the history of Korea. He belonged to the World Affairs Club at Eastern and I wonder if any of the other members ever got a chance to speak !! At Eastern he had a part time job keeping the tennis courts in order. I played when I could and once while I was sitting and talking to him a friend came by and asked me for a date. I already had a date with Ray for that evening, but Ray quickly spoke up and said "Why don't you go, I think you would enjoy it". That was a very gentlemanly thing to do. I was in a bad spot and he helped me out of it. I did go and it was a nice hay ride.

There is much more I can tell you, my children and I will do so at another time. But for now, your father was a disciplined, considerate, intelligent, high minded man who had been off to war and knew how to appreciate freedom and to appreciate a young lady who came from a respected, church oriented family.

Fall Activities

A few days ago I decided it was getting far enough into the fall weather to pick kiwi, so I did just that. I had gotten a couple of baskets full a few days before and wanted to just pick the biggest ones. One weighed in at 4.5 ounces. The average size for the ones sold in the grocery stores is 3 ounces. Perhaps next year I will see to it that the vines get some fertilizer in March as I expect next year to have them back into normal bearing.

I have some friends who look forward to these kiwi each fall. I think it will be putting them to better use to share with those folks then to try making jelly with them. However I may change my mind on that.

Hopefully this week the wild blackberry plants that I rooted earlier, can be planted on the hill in back of the house. They will be close by and I can monitor their growth much easier that way. I expect them to bear next summer. I noticed that the arapaho blackberry plants down in the front of my house have red stalks. The wild plants that I rooted also have red stalks. Perhaps they are related to the arapaho plants. If so, then I will have some very tasty, fat berries. I have tried to grow blackberries before about 12 years ago. They were thornless and not very tasty so I just let them die out. My intuition regarding these is that I will have a lovely crop !

I like to try new things and this fall I entered some of my jams, jellies and pickles in the county fair. That was the first time I had done that and I probably will not do it again. Reason being that it is just too much trouble to take the products in, register them and then after the fair is over go back and collect them. I read in the newspapers today that I could go online and see the list of winners . I did that and learned that my bread and butter pickles did indeed rate first place. The fig-strawberry jam only placed second and ditto for the muscadine jelly. So, that is not too shabby. We had rain all week so I imagine the attendance was not as great as expected in spite of having Charlie Daniels the featured singer on one evening.

When the days begin to chill it says soup should be on the menu. I did try a new soup this fall. It came from a magazine and is Vermont Cheddar soup. Rich, but filling and very smooth. A diversion from my usual vegetable soups. I do plan to make a base of tomatoes, okra and corn and let the rest just happen. My mother used to can tomatoes, okra and corn from her garden and use it for soups in the winter.

Also when it turns cold it seems a good time to make candy. My favorite is peanut better fudge. My sister would make this candy when she and her husband took us camping. She had a little camper cooker and using that on a picnic table she did her fudge. It was always so good !! I make my fudge with a very easy recipe and am willing to share if anyone is interested. It is in the cook book our church put together this year. I add walnuts to it and with the peanut butter I fool myself into thinking it is not too bad for the diet - unless of course you cannot have sugar.

So now that we are starting to use heat here in the south I will begin to look to inside activities to keep me busy. My next project is making lap quilts for patients at the Presbyterian Homes in Georgia. I have some colorful fleece prints to use. Also I have plenty of material in my stash upstairs to make adult bibs. These are among the items that are requested by the Homes. Our church will be collecting items during the month of November. The Homes will use them all during the year as gifts for the residents. I admire the people who care for older ones when they reach the age of not being able to care for themselves. I feel so blessed to not be among them, well not yet at least. In the meantime I will continue to fill my days with fun things and enjoy the beauty of nature from my window or from walks outside. I hope your days are fun filled also.

The Basket Persy Made

One of my "sometime" hobbies is making baskets. Ten months ago I ordered materials for making a mini bread basket. They came in a small box about 9" by 4". I put the box aside as I was busy with other projects at the time. Since it was January and grape vine pruning time, that may have been my preoccupation. Frequently I would move the box to a new spot and even onto the sun room which is not used in the colder months. I really wanted to get to it but other things ruled the day. Eventually I decided it was time to look inside the box. I discovered that everything was in order and began to read the directions. Well this will be a breeze I thought. So, I set it aside again and thought it would be so easy I would get to it another day. Months later I picked it up again.

There was nothing to deter me so I decided to just make this plain little bread basket. After all it was just simple weaving. After a few days I decided to put up a card table as it was not going as well as I had planned. This was taking longer than I expected. and I needed to set aside a special space to keep the work handy. Actually, I honestly believe the directions were incorrect. The directions had pictures along with each segment but the pictures always excluded the big problem I was having. Finally I just replaced two of the weavers that I had been told to split and turn under. It went much better after I did it my way.

The next big problem appeared when I really did not read and follow the directions. Such a simple deletion, but it threw things way off. More reverse weaving and a new start was in order. This went on for several weeks. I would put it aside when I felt tired as I wanted to enjoy the project.
Eventually, I got to the rims of the basket and the small handles at each end. I had given up on perfection and just wanted to get the thing done!! So, now it is and I never again want to use these directions to make a basket.
However, I do have another box of basket making materials that I have set aside , unopened, on the floor of a closet. The directions for the next one I have in mind is in a basket book I have used over the years. This one is called Amy's Basket and can be made in several sizes. I will need help I feel sure, for I could not have ever finished this little bread basket without the help of Persy. Who is Persy you may ask, well that is what I asked my husband after he told me that Persy had helped him finish a difficult task. His answer was Persy Verance. It is amazing how much Percy has helped me finish chores over the years. Things like painting the outside of my house. I did that in Maryland and again here in Georgia. Somehow it seems to help to know I am not doing it alone, but have Percy beside me. And sometimes he even talks to me!!

Faithful Fall Flowers

One of the things I look forward to in the early fall is the appearance of big yellow blooms on the Stone Mountain Yellow Daisy. There is a story of how I became the recipient of these beautiful flowers. My good friend, who is no longer living, showed them to me in his garden. I admired them so he simply reached down and pulled some of them up by the roots. He told me to plant them where I wanted them. I was doubtful that they would grow after being yanked up that way. He assured me that they would indeed grow and spread. So, I did as he said and yes, they did grow and thrive and are now planted in three different places near my home. When they appear each fall it reminds me again of my friend and his wit and creativity. He is the friend who built the wall shown in the photo of the daisy.

Another fall perennial which appears about the same time is the Purple Ageratum . It is a product of "accidental gardening" a term which was introduced to me by my New Jersey gardening friend. This little purple flower was a hitch hiker which came along with some Liriope from my home in Decatur. In my home there I had a patio out back and around it I had planted some Liriope which was given to me in one of those sharing incidents. When I brought some of the Liriope up here to plant I did not even notice the ageratum as it was not in bloom. However once the Liriope was established the hitch hiker began to appear, first in the soil that it came up here in then it began to pop up in other places. Each fall I find a new spot where it has traveled and put down its roots. The roots are a web of crossing fibers which lace back and forth. The seeds must travel by way of the petals on the blooms. I can think of no other way that they would find themselves down the hill and growing by the foot bridge. I have never planted them anywhere on this place but they seem to pop up everywhere. I have pulled them up where I did not particularly want them but eventually just stopped doing that. Now I accept them as one of natures little fall surprises.

Another perennial which earns it's keep is the Autumn Joy Sedum. It is not a spreading plant but once established just stays there for years. This year it has the best color I have seen since I first planted it about four years ago.

Another faithful flower though not specifically fall appearing are the Gerbera Daisies . They are not fast spreading but once they are put in a favorable spot they live there for years and spread slowly. I have some near my front door which have been there for about ten years. I have dug some of them up on several occasions but left a few to continue living in that spot. They are in full sun and that suits them perfectly.

There is a shade loving plant on the north side of my house which blooms in the spring and continues to bloom until we have a hard freeze. It is the shamrock. There are three of them and they do not like to compete with the roots of other plants. I had to rescue them this summer when some rude weeds threatened their space. By pulling up the intruders and putting down rich soil I gave them permission to once again shine with their perky white blooms which close in the evening and reopen in the morning. It gives me much pleasure to have these faithful little friends greet me when I go back and forth from my back door.

At the time of year when other plants are finished growing and begin to dry up it is very rewarding to have these colorful ones come along to claim my attention and lengthen my gardening interest. It is like seeing old friends reappear. I know they are still around but do not notice them until they suddenly appear to greet me once again.