Those Teen Years and Beyond

I recently heard a lady say she was looking for a mommy and a daddy.  When I asked why?  She said it was for her thirteen year old daughter.  I had to laugh as she said it so succinctly.  Any parent of teen age children will know what I mean.  I was in that same position quite a few years ago.  I was talking to a friend and she reminded me of something that I had not thought of.  She said your daughter is only in the middle of her life; She is not at the end.  In other words, relax and let her struggle with her own teen age problems.  I did and I could not be more pleased with  how she developed into the person that she has become.

Every person is born with his/her own set of tools to cope with life.  If  a parent can be  supportive, patient,  understanding, and allow  his child to make decisions on his own, he is more likely to go in the direction which is uniquely his. That is, one which is most likely to be successful for his well being. That is not to say we ignore them.  We are always meant to be alert and watch for stumbling blocks.

Each little bird needs the shadow of his mother's wings in case he falters but he himself must flex his own muscles for himself if he is ever to learn to fly on his own.  I often think of one of the richest and most compassionate men in this country.  He parents must have thought he had lost his mind when he wanted to leave high school and pursue his passion for electronic devises,  and do it in the garage of their home. But they were there ready with their steady wings and allowed him to pursue his passion.

He did it his way and he did it very well indeed.  Now he is one of the world's greatest contributors to humanitarian causes.  If his parents had suppressed his passion to do it his way we might have lost a very valuable member of  society.

Having young people grow into the kind of individuals we want to encourage in this world is a universal concern.  And it does not end at sixteen.  It continues way beyond.  So, take a deep breath and let your bird flex his wings while you are near at hand to assist if need be.

What is Precious to Me

What is Precious to Me?

 

This coming Sunday the lesson for our adult class at my church has been planned by a lady who had a unique idea.  She asked each of us to bring in something that was precious to us.  What came to my mind instantly was “my family”.  It was neither practical nor possible to bring in my family and place them on the (symbolic) altar (which was the plan).  So I began to think of all the things which are precious to me and it turned out to be many, many things.  The main criteria for me to use in deciding what I could physically carry into the church was - what would I never, ever throw away. Well, that is a long list also.  This task had turned out to be what I thought would be simple, to a monumental effort.

 

Since this is after all, a church affair, I began to narrow things down.  I decided that I would take in a Bible that my parents had given to me around the age of 12.  I do not remember just why it was given to me but I suspect it was when I went through a communicant’s class at that age. So, it is a very old Bible and it looks old.  The cover is missing entirely.  Many pages are gone or torn or scribbled on (by my children before they learned to write).  No doubt they were also intrigued by the colorful pictures throughout, depicting Biblical scenes.  Even some of those pictures were gone.  They are wonderful pictures and I will admit to removing some of them to use in the classes I have taught for children, mainly in this present church.

 

So, I had made a decision, but then I thought of all those other Bibles on my shelf.  There was one which was presented to my aunt Clara by her husband in 1924.  It says so right on the fly leaf.  Also some more history of this Bible is written there.  After my aunt died in May 1973 my uncle Matt moved from his farm in Indiana to Florida.  He must have been discarding items for this move and thought the Bible too precious to throw away.  He gave it to my sister Katrine and she kept it until 1981.  I found it when I was handling her affairs. In ten more years this Bible will be 100 years old.  I determined to add it to stack.

 

This is not the only Bible I have that had belonged to my sister.  I have two others.  One was given to her on her birthday Oct 3^rd 1922 when she was around ten.  My mother gave it to her and had written her name along with the date.

 

 The other Bible is one that my sister had bought for herself. The copyright date is 1940.  It is 2 and ½ inches thick and has wonderful helps in it like The Key, an index of the Scriptures from Genesis through Revelation.  At the back is a Concordance Dictionary.  The words of Jesus are in red. And it also has a Family Register which has been filled in by my sister, with many pertinent dates included.

 

My stack is getting higher and I have one more to add.  It is called the Good News Bible and I love the illustrations in it.  They are all line drawings.  The artist who drew them was very adept at expressing the essence of the message with minimal lines.

 

While working on this stack I found some interesting notes I had taken when studying something using some of these Bibles.  One page was filled with thoughts about the wisdom found in this amazing text.

 

Our pastor likes to quote Dr. Phil’s response to his guests with “How’s that working for you”?

 

I think Proverbs of Solomon offer the most economical, psychological, effective counseling that has been available since the written Bible.  They are for me truths as a blueprint for a fulfilling life.

 

I choose Proverbs 3:5 in the King James version.  “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. My son-in-law often chides me for not reading the directions first before attempting something new.  For all too often I have to abandon my initial attempts and “read the directions.”

 

In terms of living our lives we are always being challenged with situations that are new and unfamiliar.  The categories for these challenges are endless, some small, others medium size and some Papa Bear size.

 

In order to solve a new problem we have to go through a cognitive process.  Scientists are learning with the use of new technology that this cognitive process can actually be seen taking place in the brain as it occurs, when they ask a patient to count backward from 100 by threes.

 

They have also learned that these mental gymnastics actually cause the neurons in the brain to fire faster and this sends out more signals which are aimed to a specific spot.  This is building more brain power which becomes a foundation for better problem solving in the future.  In educational circles this is referred to as cognitive dissonance (a lack of harmony or agreement).  No problems - no new learning.  That is how children learn and advance and can go on to the next step in whatever they are learning.

 

God knew all of this long before scientists discovered it.  As our creator he designed mankind in such a way for him to develop into a growing, learning, spiritually balanced being.

 

I think problems, both small and large are a part of God’s plan for mankind to become what he created them to be.  Proverbs 3:5 instructs us to walk the path God knows will lead to success whereas if we make up our own instructions we can fail and know frustration. 

 

So, when we trust in God, read his instructions and follow them we gain new learning and understanding, helping us with our next, similar problem we face.  Proverbs is full of problem solving instructions.  Proverbs 1:33 says “those who listen to me will be secure and will live at ease, without dread of disaster.  It is the best plan that I know to follow throughout life.  That is why it is precious to me.

 

In Memory of Jim

In Memory of James Francis Gallow

born on St. Francis of Assisi Saint Day, October 4, 1952

died June 28, 2013

my favorite son-in-law

Jim in 1975 with his cat Rufus Begonia

Jim with his son Jeffrey 1985

Introducing Jeffrey to horses

Enjoying morning coffee with Bruno

Swimming with Bruno at Lake Lanier

Kissing Bonnie at Hilton Head

With his favorite "hoagie" dog Heidi in Charlotte NC

In Garden with Baby Loki

Chauffeuring Loki & Bear 

Baby Loki with the Alpha Dog

Loki in his special car seat (Jim's leg)

Loki in Jim's arms

Bear - who you sticking that tongue out at??

Walking the dogs at the condo

He even loved squirrels (Nancy Delia's pet)

Baby Girl (aka Rocky) with Jim

Happy Trio in the dog park June 2013

Analogy of a Broken Bone

After December is the time to prune Muscadine grapes  in the south. For some time I was able to do the pruning myself and it can be a big job for one person, as good days are not very common at that time of the year.  One year I did accomplish the task and I had twenty five vines to prune.  Now I have downsized and have about seventeen.  My son-in-law came up to help me on  a beautiful sunny day in February when there was no wind, and since we were in full sun it turned out to be a great day to prune.  But something prevented us from working very long that day.

Jim and I got in the golf cart - great transportation on a small farm;  We had pruners, and rakes, and set out in a jolly work mood.  Jim told me to stay in the golf cart and not to try to help, rather just keep him company.  Which I did for a while and watching him I began to think I could at least pick up the vines he had cut and toss them into the woods where they would in time rot and make more rich woods soil.  I began to do that and it was going just fine until I saw a yellow bloom a few feet away.  I wondered if it came from a forsythia bush this early in the year.  I had to know, so I took one step into the wooded area and immediately slid a short distance.  I was standing on  a slope and my left foot stayed on solid ground.  My right foot tried to do the same thing.  However the ankle did not cooperate and I had the strangest sensation of my left  foot staying put and the right one trying to adjust to the holding still.  I remember having the thought  of why I was not moving, then I felt the pain and fell back onto the grassy slope.  Immediately my right foot became swollen and too painful to move.  Jim rushed to my side and helped me crawl into the golf cart.  My ankle looked horrible and was turning blue.  We spent only a few seconds deciding that we needed to head for Quick Care and have a doctor inspect it. 

Luckily the Quick Care had a sports doctor in that office.  After an x-ray showed a spiral break in my right ankle bone which goes up the leg. I had to reconcile myself to some immobilization.   The doctor sent me home in a big black pump up boot and instructions on starting the healing process.  Jim got more than he bargained for as with a broken right ankle I was unable to drive.  He stayed with me and drove me around and tried to keep up my spirits.  Also I had to keep off of it for a while, so a walker was purchased to help me hobble around indoors.

In two weeks time we went back to see the good doctor and I saw the x-ray for this visit. He told me it had begun to heal.  I had some questions.  I wanted to know how he could tell the break was starting to mend.  I will paraphrase, but essentially he said the break looked wider and that indicated that the healing had begun. He went on to say the blood comes in and takes away the debris from the break.  After this has happened it can really take hold.  I was satisfied with his explanation and better understood why rest was important.

This thought had been resting in my mind and it came back to me a few days later as I was meditating quietly at my breakfast table.

The blood taking away the debris seemed like a good comparison to how other types of breaks go about the same healing process.  Be it a hair line fracture, a complete break or a personal relationship.  Neither will begin to heal until the fragments surrounding the incident have been removed.  It may take a form of forgiveness, some acts of contrition, or manifestations of clearing and cleansing.  Each break will have it's own unique ear marks.  Whatever it is, complete healing will not take place until a new slate is available for building up again.

My mother had a saying, " a good scream clears the air".  Having eight children to deal with, that way worked for her.  A good scream from her put us all on notice that a change was taking place.  We all have to find what a "good scream means for us in any given situation.  Perhaps recognizing the need for it is a good way to begin.