Those Teen Years and Beyond

I recently heard a lady say she was looking for a mommy and a daddy.  When I asked why?  She said it was for her thirteen year old daughter.  I had to laugh as she said it so succinctly.  Any parent of teen age children will know what I mean.  I was in that same position quite a few years ago.  I was talking to a friend and she reminded me of something that I had not thought of.  She said your daughter is only in the middle of her life; She is not at the end.  In other words, relax and let her struggle with her own teen age problems.  I did and I could not be more pleased with  how she developed into the person that she has become.

Every person is born with his/her own set of tools to cope with life.  If  a parent can be  supportive, patient,  understanding, and allow  his child to make decisions on his own, he is more likely to go in the direction which is uniquely his. That is, one which is most likely to be successful for his well being. That is not to say we ignore them.  We are always meant to be alert and watch for stumbling blocks.

Each little bird needs the shadow of his mother's wings in case he falters but he himself must flex his own muscles for himself if he is ever to learn to fly on his own.  I often think of one of the richest and most compassionate men in this country.  He parents must have thought he had lost his mind when he wanted to leave high school and pursue his passion for electronic devises,  and do it in the garage of their home. But they were there ready with their steady wings and allowed him to pursue his passion.

He did it his way and he did it very well indeed.  Now he is one of the world's greatest contributors to humanitarian causes.  If his parents had suppressed his passion to do it his way we might have lost a very valuable member of  society.

Having young people grow into the kind of individuals we want to encourage in this world is a universal concern.  And it does not end at sixteen.  It continues way beyond.  So, take a deep breath and let your bird flex his wings while you are near at hand to assist if need be.

What is Precious to Me

What is Precious to Me?

 

This coming Sunday the lesson for our adult class at my church has been planned by a lady who had a unique idea.  She asked each of us to bring in something that was precious to us.  What came to my mind instantly was “my family”.  It was neither practical nor possible to bring in my family and place them on the (symbolic) altar (which was the plan).  So I began to think of all the things which are precious to me and it turned out to be many, many things.  The main criteria for me to use in deciding what I could physically carry into the church was - what would I never, ever throw away. Well, that is a long list also.  This task had turned out to be what I thought would be simple, to a monumental effort.

 

Since this is after all, a church affair, I began to narrow things down.  I decided that I would take in a Bible that my parents had given to me around the age of 12.  I do not remember just why it was given to me but I suspect it was when I went through a communicant’s class at that age. So, it is a very old Bible and it looks old.  The cover is missing entirely.  Many pages are gone or torn or scribbled on (by my children before they learned to write).  No doubt they were also intrigued by the colorful pictures throughout, depicting Biblical scenes.  Even some of those pictures were gone.  They are wonderful pictures and I will admit to removing some of them to use in the classes I have taught for children, mainly in this present church.

 

So, I had made a decision, but then I thought of all those other Bibles on my shelf.  There was one which was presented to my aunt Clara by her husband in 1924.  It says so right on the fly leaf.  Also some more history of this Bible is written there.  After my aunt died in May 1973 my uncle Matt moved from his farm in Indiana to Florida.  He must have been discarding items for this move and thought the Bible too precious to throw away.  He gave it to my sister Katrine and she kept it until 1981.  I found it when I was handling her affairs. In ten more years this Bible will be 100 years old.  I determined to add it to stack.

 

This is not the only Bible I have that had belonged to my sister.  I have two others.  One was given to her on her birthday Oct 3^rd 1922 when she was around ten.  My mother gave it to her and had written her name along with the date.

 

 The other Bible is one that my sister had bought for herself. The copyright date is 1940.  It is 2 and ½ inches thick and has wonderful helps in it like The Key, an index of the Scriptures from Genesis through Revelation.  At the back is a Concordance Dictionary.  The words of Jesus are in red. And it also has a Family Register which has been filled in by my sister, with many pertinent dates included.

 

My stack is getting higher and I have one more to add.  It is called the Good News Bible and I love the illustrations in it.  They are all line drawings.  The artist who drew them was very adept at expressing the essence of the message with minimal lines.

 

While working on this stack I found some interesting notes I had taken when studying something using some of these Bibles.  One page was filled with thoughts about the wisdom found in this amazing text.

 

Our pastor likes to quote Dr. Phil’s response to his guests with “How’s that working for you”?

 

I think Proverbs of Solomon offer the most economical, psychological, effective counseling that has been available since the written Bible.  They are for me truths as a blueprint for a fulfilling life.

 

I choose Proverbs 3:5 in the King James version.  “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. My son-in-law often chides me for not reading the directions first before attempting something new.  For all too often I have to abandon my initial attempts and “read the directions.”

 

In terms of living our lives we are always being challenged with situations that are new and unfamiliar.  The categories for these challenges are endless, some small, others medium size and some Papa Bear size.

 

In order to solve a new problem we have to go through a cognitive process.  Scientists are learning with the use of new technology that this cognitive process can actually be seen taking place in the brain as it occurs, when they ask a patient to count backward from 100 by threes.

 

They have also learned that these mental gymnastics actually cause the neurons in the brain to fire faster and this sends out more signals which are aimed to a specific spot.  This is building more brain power which becomes a foundation for better problem solving in the future.  In educational circles this is referred to as cognitive dissonance (a lack of harmony or agreement).  No problems - no new learning.  That is how children learn and advance and can go on to the next step in whatever they are learning.

 

God knew all of this long before scientists discovered it.  As our creator he designed mankind in such a way for him to develop into a growing, learning, spiritually balanced being.

 

I think problems, both small and large are a part of God’s plan for mankind to become what he created them to be.  Proverbs 3:5 instructs us to walk the path God knows will lead to success whereas if we make up our own instructions we can fail and know frustration. 

 

So, when we trust in God, read his instructions and follow them we gain new learning and understanding, helping us with our next, similar problem we face.  Proverbs is full of problem solving instructions.  Proverbs 1:33 says “those who listen to me will be secure and will live at ease, without dread of disaster.  It is the best plan that I know to follow throughout life.  That is why it is precious to me.

 

In Memory of Jim

In Memory of James Francis Gallow

born on St. Francis of Assisi Saint Day, October 4, 1952

died June 28, 2013

my favorite son-in-law

Jim in 1975 with his cat Rufus Begonia

Jim with his son Jeffrey 1985

Introducing Jeffrey to horses

Enjoying morning coffee with Bruno

Swimming with Bruno at Lake Lanier

Kissing Bonnie at Hilton Head

With his favorite "hoagie" dog Heidi in Charlotte NC

In Garden with Baby Loki

Chauffeuring Loki & Bear 

Baby Loki with the Alpha Dog

Loki in his special car seat (Jim's leg)

Loki in Jim's arms

Bear - who you sticking that tongue out at??

Walking the dogs at the condo

He even loved squirrels (Nancy Delia's pet)

Baby Girl (aka Rocky) with Jim

Happy Trio in the dog park June 2013

Analogy of a Broken Bone

After December is the time to prune Muscadine grapes  in the south. For some time I was able to do the pruning myself and it can be a big job for one person, as good days are not very common at that time of the year.  One year I did accomplish the task and I had twenty five vines to prune.  Now I have downsized and have about seventeen.  My son-in-law came up to help me on  a beautiful sunny day in February when there was no wind, and since we were in full sun it turned out to be a great day to prune.  But something prevented us from working very long that day.

Jim and I got in the golf cart - great transportation on a small farm;  We had pruners, and rakes, and set out in a jolly work mood.  Jim told me to stay in the golf cart and not to try to help, rather just keep him company.  Which I did for a while and watching him I began to think I could at least pick up the vines he had cut and toss them into the woods where they would in time rot and make more rich woods soil.  I began to do that and it was going just fine until I saw a yellow bloom a few feet away.  I wondered if it came from a forsythia bush this early in the year.  I had to know, so I took one step into the wooded area and immediately slid a short distance.  I was standing on  a slope and my left foot stayed on solid ground.  My right foot tried to do the same thing.  However the ankle did not cooperate and I had the strangest sensation of my left  foot staying put and the right one trying to adjust to the holding still.  I remember having the thought  of why I was not moving, then I felt the pain and fell back onto the grassy slope.  Immediately my right foot became swollen and too painful to move.  Jim rushed to my side and helped me crawl into the golf cart.  My ankle looked horrible and was turning blue.  We spent only a few seconds deciding that we needed to head for Quick Care and have a doctor inspect it. 

Luckily the Quick Care had a sports doctor in that office.  After an x-ray showed a spiral break in my right ankle bone which goes up the leg. I had to reconcile myself to some immobilization.   The doctor sent me home in a big black pump up boot and instructions on starting the healing process.  Jim got more than he bargained for as with a broken right ankle I was unable to drive.  He stayed with me and drove me around and tried to keep up my spirits.  Also I had to keep off of it for a while, so a walker was purchased to help me hobble around indoors.

In two weeks time we went back to see the good doctor and I saw the x-ray for this visit. He told me it had begun to heal.  I had some questions.  I wanted to know how he could tell the break was starting to mend.  I will paraphrase, but essentially he said the break looked wider and that indicated that the healing had begun. He went on to say the blood comes in and takes away the debris from the break.  After this has happened it can really take hold.  I was satisfied with his explanation and better understood why rest was important.

This thought had been resting in my mind and it came back to me a few days later as I was meditating quietly at my breakfast table.

The blood taking away the debris seemed like a good comparison to how other types of breaks go about the same healing process.  Be it a hair line fracture, a complete break or a personal relationship.  Neither will begin to heal until the fragments surrounding the incident have been removed.  It may take a form of forgiveness, some acts of contrition, or manifestations of clearing and cleansing.  Each break will have it's own unique ear marks.  Whatever it is, complete healing will not take place until a new slate is available for building up again.

My mother had a saying, " a good scream clears the air".  Having eight children to deal with, that way worked for her.  A good scream from her put us all on notice that a change was taking place.  We all have to find what a "good scream means for us in any given situation.  Perhaps recognizing the need for it is a good way to begin.

Mercy of Zambia

The first thing that I noticed about Mercy was her beautiful smile.
The second thing I noticed was the colorful band over her forehead.
Then I heard her speak in rapid English and I could not understand anything she said.

  "You were not raised in America," I said.   She said no, that   she was born in Zambia. As time went by I learned much about her country and about her.  When she first came to America, she was around 12 and weighed 99 pounds. 

 My " goodness" I exclaimed?  "What did you eat in Zambia"?
 I learned that they eat lots of vegetables, which they grow themselves, so they eat a healthy diet with very little meat.  All of her grandparents had large farms and raised all kinds of vegetables which we also grow here.
only they eat them fresh from the garden.  

Mercy is 19 now, and after eating the diet that most American have eaten for years she has put on a few pounds and is working to lose some of it.  She has been eating less, and more healthful foods. She is also doing kick boxing.
I met Mercy when I needed some help and I got in touch with Visiting Angels.  Some of the things I wanted her to do were foreign to her, so I did a lot of explaining.  The first morning she came I asked her to make a poached egg.  She had never done that before so I told her what to do.  In a few minutes she came into the dining room with a pan in her hand with about 2 tablespoon of water in it and asked if this was what I wanted.  I told her I would stand in the doorway and tell her step by step.  I could not go into the kitchen because I use oxygen and the gas stove would cause a bad problem; so I stood in the doorway and walked her through it.  When I saw her try to break an egg on the side of the pan I was really feeling sorry about it all, as I could see it was all very strange to her, but she soldiered on and finished it all up.  Her efforts inspired me to write a poem for this young lady who tried so hard to please me and was a bit frustrated by it all.  I called the poem "The Learning Curve"

                                   Learning Curve

Everything is all so new,
You hardly know  just what to do.
You flounder and you fidget,
To get through every minute.
You're full of fright,
To know what is right.
But on the second time around,
You soon will be on firmer ground.
You soon will see a glimmer of hope,
See, you are really not a dope.
For who can always do some task,
The first time they are asked?
Be patient with yourself and do not despair,
You'll soon move with aplomb and flair,
And realize you have made it there!

Mercy has now mastered the art of a perfect poached egg! Mercy had expressed a desire to have something colorful to put on a wall in her apartment.  We talked about some different option and I suggested she make a quilted wall hanging.  She was all for it, but did  not know how to proceed, so with little cut squares she began to hand sew them together in a pattern pleasing to her.  She worked hard in her spare time but has not yet finished.  
I had been busy removing  some paintings from my house and remembered an oil still life that my sister had painted in 1969 and signed with her name "Katrine"  I described it and asked her if she would like to have it.  She was very excited  about the prospect of a picture to hang.
In the picture above  you can see the painting and Mercy.  You can see her beautiful smile and perhaps some of her enthusiasm.  I hope to have a long and happy relationship with this young lady and learn more about the country of her origin half way across the world.

More Classroom Activities

Some interesting things can happen when you allow nature to come into your classroom.  One example is about a little boy bringing a tadpole to school in a jar. This was in a school in the mountains of Kentucky, many years ago.  A fish bowl was found and more creek water was added to give the tadpole more room in which to develop.  We watched the transition from tadpole to frog.  We were all delighted when one day we found that the tadpole had become a green tree frog, complete with adhesive discs on his toes.  This was a revelation to us all as we learned that they lived in a tree..  None of us had seen one before and it was a new experience.  Here was an exciting event and we were motivated  to tell about it in writing, labeling and sharing the story with other classrooms.  At the end of the day we took him back to where he was found and released him, thanking him for coming to our school.

A similar experience occurred in a different classroom, only we had a cocoon to  watch.  The cocoon looked like a cigar only shorter.  I mistakenly thought it might be a butterfly, so we all had to wait and see just what would emerge.  The wire cage I had built for the cocoon was put on our science table and after some time it was placed up on a high shelf and we all forgot about it.  One day an excited child called out for us all to look at our cage.  We saw a large luna moth  (Tropaca luna), described as crescent-marked, pastel-green wings, the hind pair of which end in elongated tails. It was indeed a vision of beauty and a joy for each of us.  We found information about it in one of my books on insects from my encyclopedia of animals. We found many ways to share information about it with other children, through writing and language.  And we all learned some interesting facts about one of nature's unique creatures.

In the years around 1949, teachers did not had less  restrictions  on what they did in the classroom as they do today.  Also the curriculum was different.  We had a unit on  pets.  As part of  our program we learned about what kind of pets the children had and how they cared for them.  We decided to have a pet show and each child was to bring in his pet on a specified day.  We made charts and posters and advertised that we were having this event and the entire school was invited to come and vote for their favorite pet.  The vote was cast as a penny, to be placed in a box on each child's desk beside the pet - on the desk also. All of the school came filing in, by classroom.  We actually collected twenty dollars.  I am not sure what the value of that twenty would be today, but we decided to use it for supplies  in our classroom.. You may be wondering about the winner, so I will tell you the pet with the most votes was a hen named Betty.  It may be that a grandmother stuffed the ballot!  I was not about to question who voted how, as it was a secret ballot, or as secret as it could be in our circumstance. Teachers were not supplied with any extras in the classroom, We  were only given text books which we had to take very good care of,  so they could be saved for the next year students to use.  In a sense this was a lesson in civics as when the children would hear about an election coming up and hear talk about voting, they would have had some voting experience.

These activities all helped each of us to learn something new and enjoy doing so.

Fun Activities For Young Learners

Through-out the year in a classroom, opportunities come along when various activities can be used to reinforce skills being taught and are fun for the learners.  A good one for October is to  bring in a big, orange, flat pumpkin.  Early in the month introduce an art activity which can be expanded on to incorporate language skills.  Allow each student to have a turn to draw a face on the pumpkin, using a special pen.  After the face is drawn take a picture of the student with his creation and have him make a statement about it.  Save the statement.  At the mid point in the day, the face can be erased and another child can draw his own face.  Be sure that you use a pen which can be wiped off.  I used one called vis-a-vis.  After everyone has had his drawing  on for a half day, another child has his turn.  Leave them on for half a day,then make a book using the pictures and the statements made about the picture.  Even early readers will remember what they said and the book can be placed in the class library. The books can be checked out over the week-end allowing the children another opportunity for successful reading.

When introducing telling time on a face or digital clock, make a sundial using cardboard or other suitable material.  Explain that one can tell the time by watching the shadow cast on the face of the sundial.  The shadow is cast from the gnomon in the center.  The sundial is marked by one hour intervals.  On any sunny day take the class out and set the sundial in a clear sunny spot where it will not be in shadows.  Go out at a specific time early in the day, on the hour, such as 8:00.Take a marking pen and note where the shadow line is on the face of the sundial.  Mark the line and write the time. Explain that we will come back out in one hour to see how far the line has moved.  Mark the new shadow line and write the time.  Do this throughout the day allowing different children to serve as the marker.  This activity helps children to understand the passage of time.  The activity can be extended over several days to let all of the children participate.  To build on the idea go outdoors on a sunny day and look for posts or poles to use as natural sundials. You may find ways to use this activity in a science lesson. Encourage the children to build a sun dial at home and even send home an explanation for making one so their parents can reinforce the activity at home.

To help children grasp the concept of place value, pass out to each child a handful of objects such as pencils or crayons.  Tell them to count out ten and bundle them together with a small piece of masking tape, which you supply.  Then have them count how many they have left after bundling ten.  Have them count how many they have in all, including the ones left over from the ten in the bundle. Let them in turn, write their number on the board.  In this way they can compare how many objects each has and compare more and less.  Have this activity for several days using different objects. Extend the idea by looking for other groups of things seen in the classroom or around the school, in the hallway, and outdoors. When doing this activity walk around the room to see who is understanding.  The reinforcing can continue with paper work.  For some children it may take more guidance so be alert just who is having trouble and quietly assist them as needed.  As homework they can look for things at home to bundle and count and report to the class.

A little tip for teaching self control and maintaining decorum in the classroom,  is to begin early on to show the class how to line up in order by the first letter in each first name. Every child by first grade can say the letters of the alphabet.  At any time the class is leaving one place to go to another and they know exactly where their place is in line by  alphabetical order the transition from one place to another will be smoother as no one is scrambling to be first, last, etc.  By establishing this pattern you are setting up cooperation and polite behavior and the children will monitor their group behavior without any help from the teacher.  There will be many opportunities through the year to use this skill.

If your school has trees outside in a convenient place where the children can go visit them here is a plan the children will enjoy. Allow them to go out to the trees and adopt one of their choosing. There may not be enough for each child to have a tree to himself, so some can share a tree. Help them to identify the tree and learn something about it, what the leaves look like and the seeds and other facts which they may gather from different sources.  The space under and around the base of the tree can serve as a great spot to go for silent reading, or to do school work.  If you are lucky enough to  have a Ginkgo tree on the grounds, it is a wonderful way to show how the Ginkgo leaf is unique in nature.  Also in the fall they can watch for leaf change and how that happens.  The children will find lots to tell about their tree in independent writing as the year progresses.  The children take pride in their tree area and it gives them a sense of ownership so they are more likely to take better care of their school in general.

If you are a teacher of young children I hope you have seen some ideas here that you can incorporate into your teaching plans.  I would be happy to hear from you if you have something to share. One more thing, I taught first grade for twenty one years and may revisit this subject at another time.  Good luck with your young learners and enjoy them.

Harvesting a Small Garden

Harvesting a small garden should be a simple task, however doing it from the distance of  a hospital bed is the tricky part.  Mostly it was done by my neighbor who offered to water my plants. I eagerly took her up on her proposal and in exchange she got to enjoy the tomatoes and green peppers, but alas, the eggplant did not grow and produce.  I thought about the situation for a solution.  I think I came up with the reason for slow growth and spindly plants.  I knew the soil was good as my helper had hauled in three loads of top soil and all was going well at first, but as the plants grew and demanded more water, the hose watering I had been doing could not keep up with the demands of the thirsty plants.  I noticed one day that the Leyland cypress planted behind the rock wall had grown out so far that they were completely  shading the garden  where my plants were struggling to survive.  No wonder they were not thriving, they were suffering from lack of moisture.  The only way to remedy the situation would be to cut away the branches of the trees, not a good idea.  I could go back  to the hose but modify it with a drip line and run the water for long periods to soak the ground.  That may be an option for next year.

The blueberries however were outdoing themselves.  There were more berries than ever before and they were larger than ever before.  I attribute the size to the high percentage of rainfall this summer.  I was not there to enjoy the blueberries  but I invited my friends and neighbors to pick all they wanted.

I did not expect kiwi as I had all of the vines cut back to the ground and had a wooden trellis  built for them to grow on when they did begin to grow.  My faithful helper, Jacob, with my guidance began a system of training the vines up and over the shoulders where I want the fruit to grown next year.  It does require some advance planning to grow kiwi.

The many grape vines are ripening and as with the other fruit, I have invited my friends and neighbors to help themselves, but with the admonition that  am not responsible if they should receive any injuries while on the property.  I usually have some men who want to try their hand at wine making and housewives who want to make grape juice to put up for the winter.

One of the greatest joys of gardening is the sharing of the harvest.  Even if you do have to pull up  roots and leave the harvesting to someone else it is still very satisfying to have grown them in the first place.

To Plant or Not to Plant

After the wet, cold, unpleasant winter all over the United States and in the southeast, everyone I know who likes to plant veggies was champing at the bit to get something in the ground.  I was not one of them.  Although I have three raised beds which could be tilled and used for easy planting, I decided to not do it this year.  It takes more energy that I have to give this year.

However when my helper brought on new cross ties and three loads of  good topsoil to rebuild an L shaped garden area in the back of my  house I began to toy with  the idea of a plant stuck in with the replanting of the perennials which were placed back into the area.   A lot of the plants just did not make it but some did.  So, on  a trip to Wal-Mart I eased into the garden center just to have a look.  I learned that to buy a good sized tomato plant it would be at least $3.50 for one plant.  I was reluctant to play that for one plant so I kept looking around and found some smaller plants which looked nice and healthy and sold for $1.77 for four plants.  I put that in my cart and keep looking.  I added four green pepper plants to the cart and then bit the bullet to buy one black beauty eggplant. 

These plants sat on a table in my sun room for a day or so, then I carried them outside and gathered the tools I would need, plus some bamboo stakes and twine.  In about an hour I had planted all nine plants and watered them and tied up the stakes.  They looked happy to me when I finally left them there to spend their first night in my original flower bed.  So far they are looking happy and now we are expecting rain from the west tonight and tomorrow.  Much damage has been caused in the states of Arkansas, and other states, loss of life and property is a scary thing in the spring anywhere and to know it is heading your way makes you very wary.  This new garden area is in front of a stone wall which absorbs heat during the sunny hours and is a good spot for plants which like sun.

My neighbor is a "wanna" be gardener and last year had a lot of fun with one pot of tomatoes.  She was so proud of the fact the fact that she could actually grow and harvest tomatoes.  It is a very satisfying experience and if I have to scale down to be a gardener this year, then so be it.  I still have blueberries growing inside of a bed which is covered with black netting.  They are on their own this year but when I see them getting big and blue I will surely begin to enter the area and harvest them.

I hope you like gardening enough to at least grow one tomato plant on your patio.  If you do not have a pot just buy a bag of potting soil and plant one tomato plant  in it and keep it watered.  You will not  have a mess on your patio as the soil stays contained in the  bag of soil.  It is really nice to have your own tomato sandwich from your own tomato grown by your own efforts.

A Good Man is Hard to Find

Anyone who has a home needs someone to do the upkeep on the outside.  Usually it is the man of the house who does this.  However there are many reasons why one needs to find a younger, stronger man to do those outside chores.  Finding the right man is not an easy chore in itself.  After some months of inquiring about someone who was available I learned about Will.

The first time I talked to him he sounded like a very intelligent, well mannered young man and that impressed me right away.  So, since he had been recommended by a trusted plumber who had worked here off and on for years, I felt at ease with having him come over for a trial.  He came around at 10:30 and I explained to him what I wanted done, and he set to work. He had brought all of his own tools with him.  When he had finished I saw that he had exceeded my expectations.  He had cut out and pruned and raked and my yard had never looked so loved!

Since we are in the dead of winter and some days are not fit for working out in the cold, he ended up working on sunny days without biting winds.  Quite frankly, I had not had such careful attention to pruning and raking and fine tuning on this place before.  After coming for a couple of times he decided to give the golf cart a whirl to see why it was not working.   He made an assessment and then  after a visit or two he had the mean, green, working machine purring like a big ole kitten.  That made me very happy for this working golf cart with a big bed on back comes in very handy around this place.

I went up with him into the vineyard and showed him how to prune the grapes.  This was a new skill for him but he caught on pretty quick and I left him with it.  I was especially interested in the two vines that he was pruning.  They were planted by my old friend Bob and produced  big, beautiful, purple grapes in the fall.  They make lovely jelly and maybe even tasty wine.  I have only tried the jelly so the wine is yet to be tested.

I felt really good at the end of yesterday's work day.  The golf cart was put in working order, the trees up and down the hill had been divested of the English Ivy trying to take over, and my lovely grape vines had been made ready for their new growth.  Plus he is recycling the vines.  His mother is going to turn the cut vines into beautiful wreaths.  They will be around for many years as the vines are not likely to deteriorate hanging indoors and out of the weather.  A very good thing in my book.

So, the old adage " a good man is hard to find" applies to a yardman as they are truly hard to find.

Red Letter Day

Something happened several days ago which made me glad and sad at the same time.  It was a big day for Sweetie the Manx kitten and a very bad day for one little bird. 

For some time now I have been luring the birds to my back yard by keeping a feeding station for them outside my dining room window.  It has been entertaining and informative to observe the variety of birds that come by to partake of suet, thistle seeds, dried fruit, and nuts. 

At the same time I have been trying to acclimate a stray kitten to the civilized, outside world during one of the  coldest winters we have ever had here in north Georgia.  At first she had to be taken to the vet to be wormed, then after a bit, she was taken back for shots to protect her (and ultimately all of us) then there was a waiting time for her to gain weight before she could be spayed.  But we were not  there yet.  The Vet said she needed to be of a certain stage of development before being spayed.  Then finally that day came and she had the operation.  All of this time she has been living in my sun room.  J.W. my neighbor who was behind this cat project, has been faithful to take her to the vet,  pay the bills, and come and change the litter box.  I have been faithful to feed the kitten and try to provide some human contact, even though I do not like to have animals inside my home. 

Bear in mind that even inside of the sun room it can be really cold for a little kitten; so I put a space heater out there to try and keep the air temperature bearable at night.  She also has had the use of a little house with a heated pad for added warmth.  But being confined for several months with no other feline company can eventually make a placid cat go psycho!!

I began to open the roll out window during the day so Sweetie could come and go as she pleased.   It was a gradual reintroduction to the outdoors.  She seemed to enjoy the transition and could be seen honing stalking skills.  One day I noticed she was being more active than usual in the sun room but did not go to investigate.   when I saw her take a huge leap into the air and onto the deacon's bench I did go to see what brought that on.  To my dismay I saw a tiny  bird in her clutch.  Sweetie looked up at me briefly and went on playing with the  bird.  The poor bird tried to fly away by going up to the window ledge but eventually flying down again as he tried to figure out how to get out of his predicament.

What was I to do?  Cats learn to hunt prey, even when it is something desirable like this little bird.  It was a predicament.  I did not see how it all began so I was not sure how the bird got into the sun room.  Did it accidentally fly in through the window or did Sweetie bring it inside?  However it happened, what should I do?  Think about it, what would you have done?

I can tell you that it was painful for me to not intervene but I let nature take it's course.  Over a period of about an hour Sweetie and the bird battled it out.  I could not watch it all so I went about my indoor chores and when I checked back it was apparent that the bird had gone on to bird heaven.  I did not want a deceased bird to stay in my sun room; so I gently scooted the little feathered friend out the door and onto the brick stoop outside the door.  That was the last I saw of it.

At this point my sun room was a mess with little feathers all over the floor and a general messiness all about.  Scattered bits of litter, cat toys and stains on the tile all told me I needed to give the room a good cleaning.  I began with Lysol wipes and cleaned dark stains which could only be bird blood.  Not wanting to use my vacuum cleaner in where there could be really bad germs lurking about I used a brush and broom to ready things for more cleaning. During all of this cleaning the cat was banned to the outside.  I did not let her back in her "digs" until dusk was approaching.  No heat for her tonight however.  If she could catch an innocent little bird she could tough it out in that room with no space heater warming the air.  It was  not retribution on my  part.  Rather part of my  plan to soon get her outdoors for the life best suited for her.

Sweetie had reached a milestone but it was no pleasure for me.  I had wanted her to grow into the hunter that she was intended to be, but I had not expected to see it all play out in full view and inside of my house.  I had planned for her to hunt down voles, moles and rats.  In life we make compromises at times and I did that on this occasion.  It was a bitter sweet day for me, but no doubt a day of triumph for Sweetie.

Ruth Matthis Stifel Oct.-17-1923 Dec. 31st 2013

 The last gathering of my siblings (shown to the right) was at the funeral of my brother-in law Rufus Bailey in 1981.  Only one of the eight children of Rose and Chester Matthis was missing.  Kenneth Moss Matthis had died  March, 17th, 1970.  Six months after the death of Rufus Bailey, Katrine's husband, she succumbed to Cancer in a hospital in Lexington, Ky. 

The picture  shows Ruth Matthis Stifel, second from the left.  At this time there is only one of this group left to mourn the passing of Ruth.  It is myself and I feel very deeply the severing of this family connection.  For those who may not recognize those pictured,  I will name the above left to right; Rose, Ruth, Frances, Bill, Katrine, Gene and Chester Blain.  An interesting book could be written about each of them, but today I want to tell about my sister Ruth.

Ruth was born in Pineville, Kentucky which is in Bell county in southeastern Kentucky.  Ruth loved her family and never wanted to part from any of us.  When she married at age 24, her husband George had to drive her home from Toledo every week-end to see her family or she would have perished.  She never wanted to leave home but when she married and her husband would not stay in the small mountain town of Harlan, he had to compensate by driving her from Ohio to  Kentucky every single week-end.

When she had her first son and could not travel, I got on a train and went to see her and the new baby.  George Craig was born on December 4, 1948 and was two weeks old when I first set eyes on him.  Ruth was so excited that some of her family would be coming she ran out to meet me and I got a snap shot of that scene.  It sticks out in my memory to exemplify her passion for her family.  As the years passed and I had a daughter, I was living in Maryland and feeling rather isolated.  My husband had to make a business trip to Flint Michigan so he took me with him and left me  at Ruth's home for a week.  During that time I rested, slept, ate, and Ruth looked after me, cooked for me, took care of my two year old daughter. I gained five pounds the week I was with her.  Ruth did it gladly, for she did so love her family.

Ruth had a lot to worry her besides a daughter who needed heart surgery.  Her husband had to enter a hospital for treatment of Tuberculosis.  It was such a stressful time for her that her  thyroid gland reacted.  She had to have surgery for removal of a  goiter.   It was a big deal in 1959 to have a goiter removed.  I had two children then and I bundled them up and got homework for my daughter for two weeks then got on a train for Ohio.  I would have done anything to get to my sister to stay with her and be a temporary mother for her  children.  While she was in the hospital I made a trip to her daughter's school to tell her teacher that Charlotte was being bullied by a classmate, as she walked to and from school.  The teacher put a stop to that right away.  

During the years following that time, Ruth and I were both busy with our families and with working at our jobs so we did not  have the opportunity to visit as we would have liked to do.  As the years passed and the children were growing up, we began to visit as a family at the beach in South Carolina.  Katrine and Rufus always went to the beach around the fourth of July as that was when the coal industry took a break for the miners to have a vacation.  Each of us had our own  apartments and at the evening meal we would gather to eat together.  We had spent our days in the sun together so the evenings were set aside to enjoy an evening meal either at a restaurant or in someone's apartment.  Katrine always had a movie camera ( pre videocam  days) and I still have some of those movies we took at the beach.  Any of my family will remember being there as children,  it was a kid's paradise.  We hunted for sharks teeth that would wash up on the beach and then have jewelry made from those black fossilized teeth.  Ruth and her husband George enjoyed these family gatherings as we all did. 

Ruth's husband had lost his parents at a young age so he loved being in a big family like ours.  He called my mother "Mammy" and delighted in being one of us.  As the years passed and our children grew up and had homes of their own, Ruth and I began to reconnect.  She came to visit and we took day trips to little towns in north Georgia, and sometimes I would go to Ohio and we had projects that we worked on such as a quilt for her granddaughter Katie or her granddaughter Amelia.  Ruth wanted to make a quilt for her third granddaughter Valerie, but it never got done.  Health issues began to creep in, like knee replacements.  I was free to go to Ohio and spend time with her  for one of those operations.  She insisted I sleep in her huge bed while she took a smaller one.  Many things about the area intrigued me.  The evergreen "Christmas trees" were different from anything we had in the south.

On one of my trips up to visit her we spent some delightful times watching the snow birds (Junco)  as they crowded onto a watering saucer outside her sliding glass doors.  Once we counted 24 at one time.  There were interesting parks  to visit and some stores quite unlike anything I had seen in Georgia.  I think she enjoyed taking me to  the Needle shop where I went "bonkers" over the variety of yarns and threads.

  Ruth and I grew up together and slept in the same bed.  We used to spoon or as we called it making chairs.  It kept us both warm on the cold Kentucky winters.  She remembers that I awakened one morning from a dream and told her a big bear was breathing down my neck.  Ruth said that she was  the bear in my dream.  We went barefoot during warm weather and one of our favorite sayings at bedtime was "if I die in the night be sure to wash my feet".  We were  not concerned about dying in the night, just that our feet would be dirty.  Remember that the house we lived in did not have indoor plumbing, so taking a shower at bedtime was problematic.

When Ruth graduated from High School our parents wanted her to go to college but they could not convince her of the advantage of leaving home for studying elsewhere.  She insisted she wanted to get a job and work so she could buy clothes.  Her favorite store was called The Quality Shop in the little town of Harlan.  She had a charge account there and her earnings went to the owners of that shop.  There were times when my mother would tell Ruth she had to share a dress with me.  She was not too happy about it but she did it.  Looking back it was rather unfair but when money was tight our parents had to find ways to manage things like what to wear!!  Ruth and I were the same size so it was a very lucky break for me as Ruth chose only the best clothing.  Sometimes our older sister Frances would make twin dresses for us.  In our family there was a lot of sharing and caring for each other.

Ruth came very close to death once when she had appendicitis.  A dear friend of mother's came by our house to tell mother goodbye as she and her doctor husband were going out of the country.  She saw how sick Ruth was and called her husband to come right away and see her.  He did and Ruth went right into the hospital for emergency surgery.  In those days you did not call the doctor unless you were at the point of death, and this time she was, for infection had begun to set in.    It was when sulfa was just coming into use and it saved Ruth's life that time.  Doctors in the fields had just begun to use sulfa on the sick soldiers in World War II.

Ruth worked with our father in his office at the Harlan Fuel Company.  She learned from him how to keep the records and balance books and also how to run a store as that came under his list of duties.  The post office was in the Commissary and Ruth helped to run that also.  She was very efficient and  years later when she worked in a hospital office she handled the financial affairs of  that office.  When she retired they had to hire three women to replace her.  She really turned out the work!

Before Ruth's health began to fail her she had a Sunday night ritual with her son's family.  She liked to cook for them and they liked having her do it.  She made chicken and dumplings like no one else could.  When she visited with me here in the south our days of cooking big meals went by the way side.  I wanted Ruth to make her home with me and she did give it a try.  I think she got spooked however as I was in a head on collision one Sunday.  She did not feel like going into church with me on that day and  I was glad she was not with me as she surely would have been badly injured, because I was.  While I was in the hospital she began to rethink the idea of living so far from her family in Ohio.  So she sold her home there and went into an adult retirement home.  I visited her there and it was a fun place to live, she met new friends and joined a new Presbyterian Church.  She met a friend there who was still driving so they attended church together.  I visited church with her there too, and she went on a  women's week-end retreat there several times.  She liked the church and the pastor, who happened to be a lady.

Unfortunately for some of us our health declines and this happened to her.  For a time I had two family members ( Ruth and Bill) living n Assisted Living  homes.  I was not doing any long distance traveling at that time but I was able to keep in touch by phone and through letters.

The last time I spoke to my brother he was telling me about trying to cope with a leg which would not move for him.  He was reaching the point where life was not so much fun and he was ready to pass on.  We are not in charge of that decision however so he lingered on for some time.  Ruth also reached that stage and the last time I heard her voice she began a sentence but could not finish it.  She said "Rosie I wish you........."  I think I know what she was trying to say, for at an earlier time she told me she thought if I came walking through the door she would be all well.  I feel a lot of guilt for not being able to make the trip to visit her.  I was concerned about a medical incident for myself when I was far from home so I never tried to make the trip.

After someone close to you passes on you may experience signs and wonders.  Ruth always loved birds and had pictures of them on her walls at her home and wall hangings of bird houses and clothing with red cardinals on them or little decorated bird houses on a shirt.  The night after Ruth's death my niece called me from Phoenix, Arizona. We were talking about Ruth and her friend said she heard a bird singing outside.  My niece heard it too.  It was dark at night in Phoenix when this happened.  It was then that I talked about Ruth's love of birds.  Was it a sign from Ruth saying "I am okay now" ? 

When my daughter went to work the day after New Years she walked into her office and got a big surprise, as on her computer screen was a picture of a beautiful white dove.  She could not remember putting that picture on her computer but she had many other pictures of flowers (that she had taken herself).  She had come to see me on New Years Day and when she came in she had the sad duty to tell me of losing my sister.  So what about these signs and wonders that the Bible speaks of?  Are they little gifts from God to give us comfort?  We surely need comforting when our heart has been bruised or broken.  God tells us through His Holy Bible that  he will supply all our needs and I believe comforting someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one qualifies as a big need.

A lot of Ruth's family and her friends will be remembering her for a long time.  She was witty, clever and talented.   We will be remembering her for as long as we are able and laughing at the funny things she did and thanking God for her life.