There are times in life when you are suddenly faced with a situation in which you are totally surprised and you have to think fast to right the situation. This thought came into my mind today and I do not know why, but it was triggered by an incident which happened around 1970.
The place was Mercer College where I was taking a class required for accreditation to teach in the state of Georgia. The class was how to teach Social Studies to young children. On this day I was teaching a lesson with children who were all new to me. They had been selected for the demonstration and we were in a large room with an audience of other students and our professor. The demonstration was being video taped.
The lesson was on Wants and Needs. I was setting up the idea of what things a family might want and things they really needed. I described this large family of around eight children and where they lived, etc. Then I asked the question. What things do you think this family might need?
I looked around at the children and waited for a response. Then one little voice piped up with, "a new baby". The audience began laughing. I could not laugh! I had to think fast of how to turn this around. I cannot now remember how I got the lesson back on track, but I did get an A for that class.
I call myself a slow reactor. Of course in some cases you would be toast if you did not physically react very quickly but in other ways I think about the situation before getting in any deeper. One example of that, and I am not proud of the way I handled this, was when my husband proposed marriage. I simply got up from my seat and said, "I need to go home now". I was totally unprepared for the question and any further discussion I could not handle. We had been dating for three months and marriage was one thing I had not expected to be in my plans. My big plan was to finish college.
Eventually I did marry this veteran of World War II, and one of the deciding factors was his wisdom. One day I was playing tennis on campus. He was a student there and had a part time job taking care of the tennis courts. I was sitting on the grass taking a break. He came over to chat with me and a fellow student came over to join us. The fellow student was no stranger to me so he proceeded to ask me to go on a Saturday night hay ride that one of his clubs was sponsoring. I already had a "sort of" date with the grounds keeper. I was put on the spot, so he, (my future husband) realizing my dilemma quickly spoke up and said "Why don't you go, it would be fun". So, having been saved from an embarrassing situation, I accepted his invitation. The young man who invited me never knew what had just transpired. But I saw that this quick thinking young man with the cool head was a worthy friend.
Analyzing a situation before making a decision, or before responding is a good quality, and amounts to what I call, keeping your cool.
The book of Proverbs is full of pithy sayings and one of them applies to this situation. Chapter 13:2, a "The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright.." Another one I like is Ch. 15: a " a soft answer turneth away wrath". Another example, Ch15: 7 a "The lips of the wise disperse knowledge".
Life is full of moments when decisions for survival take quick action, whereas responding with words can have an entirely different consequence. Many of the crime programs on television would be non existent if the actors had to respond with a soft answer. Emotions can get in the way and blot out placid responses. It is not easy to keep your cool when a heated discussion is taking place. I know that Abraham Lincoln read his Bible a lot, in fact he used it to learn to read, having few other books at his disposal. He was known to have a cool head and he held his counsel in so many situations. He was also a great story teller having learned that from his father. He was once insulted when a man said he was common looking. His response was, " I suppose the good Lord liked common people as he made so many of us". How can one fight when they get a response like that?
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