Dating in the 1940's

For a reason I do not know, a tune came into my mind this morning. Deep Purple. It was popular in the early 1940's. When I was sixteen I had been invited to a party given by two sisters whose father was a dentist in our small southeastern town in Kentucky.

At that party was a young man, quite handsome, the son of a doctor in a neighboring town. He played the trumpet and for some reason had brought it along. I had never met him before this evening. I am sure he meant well but for some reason he targeted me with his music. Getting quite close to my face he proceeded to play "Deep Purple". I winced and edged away, for he was entirely too close with a trumpet sounding so close to my ear. Looking back on this incident he was just being obnoxious as boys will be toward young ladies when both are in their teen years.

I do not recall the next time I saw this young man but he had a car and could come and go as he pleased, sometimes he had his younger brother with him. He would come to my house and do all sorts of gymnastics with his little brother, picking him up and tossing him into the air. He would just show up at my house and we began a friendship which lasted for quite a few years.

He was an active boy scout and was friends with the man who kept the boy scout camp, which was located between his town and mine. We went there on numerous occasions and he would visit with his friend who was like a family member. I came to know the camp through him and when I went out with him it often was a visit to this camp. There was a stone dam holding back a lovely lake which the scouts put to good use. We would walk around the lake, take pictures and enjoy being out in nature.

One day when we were walking there through the trees a huge spider appeared in front of us. My friend picked up a rock and with deadly aim hit the spider. That was the end of the spider, but her progeny, at least 100 in number fled in all directions. Now, that was a sight to remember. I doubt he knew and I certainly did not, that the spider carried her young on her back, thus the "fat" appearance.

When I left to go to college in central Kentucky, my friend went to a college in a nearby town. It was in Berea Ky. and was called "Berea". It is a world famous college which has a work program. You must work if you attend Berea. During this time I continued to see him as he would drive home to visit his family and stop by my college, pick me up in his A model ford and drive me to visit my family also.

Once he came by to see me and brought me a corsage of pink camellias. I do not remember the occasion but I do remember wearing them on a black dress which had a scoop neckline with a ruffle around it. No doubt my mother had made it for me as she made most of my clothes. I have loved camellias since that time. It was my first introduction to them.

On one of his visits to the college we went strolling through the town of Richmond. The streets were lined with elegant old homes which invariably had large trees in front with sprawling branches extending out over the sidewalks. My friend was in a "poetry" mood and he was extolling the words of some poem along with arm gestures. Just as he was eloquently saying "Oh, bird, speak to me", his arm was extended upward. At that moment a bird perched up in the tree responded in bird like fashion, right in front of us. It could never have been timed as perfectly by any movie producer. We both were laughing so hard we had to sit down right there on the sidewalk and laugh it out !!

About that time he was inducted into the army and worked as a medic. They put him right to work allowing him to assist in some surgeries. Once he proudly gave me a large picture taken during surgery and pointed out which hands were his assisting. It was all good experience for him as he went on to become a surgeon, distinguishing himself as one of the first doctors to reattach a hand lost in an accident.

Looking back on this time, it was a great, wholesome friendship. When it came to marriage we both chose other mates, but we were friends at a time when courting was innocent and casual and helped to prepare us both for a lasting bond with someone else.

Birthday Event

Yesterday I left my two charges, Rocky and Cujo, and drove down to Snellville where my son, his two boys and their mother live. When I arrived at my son's home the birthday boy was asleep. He requires frequent naps to be at the top of his game. I had a little chat with my son and second grandson until Grant awakened. The moment his father heard him upstairs he sprinted from the room to get him in his shower and dressed for his own birthday party.

The party was scheduled at his mother's home a few blocks away and was a real surprise party. My second grandson, now 17 and driving, drove my car over to his Mom's. When we entered the house all was quiet. We walked back to the living room area and when Grant got to the quiet room, everyone shouted out "surprise" !!!! He was really not expecting this, which was the idea !!

Gathered there were his last four baby sitters, or play friends or nanny, which ever label fits. Also some special neighbors who have known him for so long. After greetings all around his mother began to set out the birthday cake and extra cheese cakes, etc. Usually there is one cake but she had choices. It all looked so tempting but I settled on white cake with raspberry filling.

In the adjoining room, called the music room as Reed the oldest, plays his cello there and the piano is there also, was a shiny new bicycle with a huge bow on the handlebars. Grant did not notice it in his eagerness to show the pet parrot to his friends. The parrot was in his cage and stayed there during the party. This was a mixed group with two toddlers, one four year old, one five year old and one not yet born. It all worked so well as Grant is Mr. Personality and blends in nicely with any age. Among his gifts were a gift card, money in a pine cone disguised as a turkey, a "doctor" shirt (as he likes to pretend he is a doctor with his stethoscope and accompanying medicine bag). Also a bicycle guard cap with red streaks on it. This from his brother. Games, book, and some gifts from the lunch room lady which they left at his home.

Grant is mesmerized with Hannah Montana. He likes to play pretend games with her as the focus. He likes her music and the idea of having her as a best friend. This is a well known fact and the school lady had given him a soft purple boot pillow with Hanna's logo on it. It is all a game and I think he knows it but he is so full of life it seems right.

Grant has a phenomenal memory and will long remember this day which so many people lovingly shared with him. This his 13th birthday has been a long journey which is still in progress. It has been a struggle for his parents and his brother who will be leaving home next year to attend college.

At the party I talked to the mother of one of his sitters. She was a teacher whom I met when we were both teachers at the same school. I was telling her a story of when Grant was still crawling and not yet vocalizing. He was on the carpet in front of a sofa. Reed and I were sitting on the sofa and having a popcorn snack. The television was on a kiddie program. Grant was watching us and I was watching him. He suddenly said to me " I want up there". I was so surprised to hear him speak as I had not heard him vocalise at all. So, I picked him up and sat him with us and fed him small easy pieces of popcorn. It has been a long history of speech lessons and appointments with specialists to help him grow and develop. It has taken much patience and love from his parents to help him reach this point in life. So entering his teen years was indeed an occasion for celebration. The journey is not over, the special sessions will continue, the support and love will continue, and Grant's engaging personality will bind us to him in many ways.

This is a story of coping when life takes a turn not expected. When a child is born with a genetic anomaly which is new to you. A lot must be learned and strength which seems out of reach is deep inside ready to be tapped. A child who spends his childhood trying to catch up, who knows only one way of living. Hopefully all such children with Prader Willi Syndrome will find a family who can be supportive and loving and kind to help in his/her journey.

Lost, Not Forgotten

This week I have two furry house guests, Cujo and Rocky. They are staying with me as their master is having surgery and may not feel like taking them outdoors. They are so easy as they mostly lie around. They occasionally catch a glimpse of a bird or squirrel outdoors through the large windows, then they leap up and bark wanting to go out for a chase. I look forward to this week as I feel somewhat protected with them here and I will have all of this week to finish some projects that have been put aside for just such a time.

One thing I have been revisiting in my mind is the things which I once treasured but are now lost to me. When I was about eight years old my parents went on a winter trip to Florida and I was left behind. I do not recall feeling sad about that but I felt happy when they returned as they brought me an Indian doll made by the Seminoles in Florida. She had rows of ruffles on her dress and was very colorful. I have no idea what could have happened to her, probably I neglected to take proper care of her.

Also when I was quite young I was given a china tea set for Christmas. The cups and saucers and tea pot were very small and the handle on the tea pot was woven reeds. It probably was made in Japan as so many of those kinds of toys were at that time, and now too !! I recall having it for many years as I did treasure it.

My favorite books when I was young were Anderson Fairy tales and a large story book with full page pictures. I believe it was part of a set of encyclopedia belonging to my parents. One picture I liked to study was of a little girl in worn clothing in a winter setting. She stood outside of a building as one would see in a large city. The picture itself looked icy and cold as did she. She held a small light in her hand as to warm herself. The story that accompanied the picture was "The Little Match Girl". Those books were around for a long time, but now are lost forever. Around this time I was given my first Bible. It had wonderful pictures of Biblical times and the beautiful, colorful clothes the characters wore. I actually do still have that Bible but it is worn and torn and has no cover. I have strong feelings for it and would not part with it willingly !

Some gifts of jewelry which made an impression on me are lost also. I think I gave some of them away to nieces of mine. One was a silver pin of a thunder bird with a piece of blue turquoise in the center of his chest. My boy friend brought it to me from Blowing Rock, N.C. when he went to visit his grandparents there. At a different time he gave me a ring with a square emerald in the center. There was no particular reason for him to give me a ring so I did not really understand it . In a generous moment I do recall giving it to my niece Mary Lynn Riddle when she was a young girl.

Another piece of jewelry form my childhood was a gold necklace with a heart, anchor and cross attached to it. I still have the cross but the rest is long gone. My father had given this to me when I was twelve years old saying it would remind me that "my heart was anchored to the cross".

When I was in college at Eastern in Richmond, Ky. I was majoring in Art and had made a lot of paintings in oil and also charcoal and colored chalk. Most of these things were stored in my parents basement. Unfortunately the Cumberland River which flowed behind our home ran over its banks during a prolonged spring rain and our basement was flooded. The water came up to the top of the stairs leading down there and everything was lost , including my mother's canned goods from the previous summer. That is my limited experience with floods and I can empathize with the folks who lost all they had to floods this September in Georgia.

It would be impossible to keep all of our childhood treasures forever. The passage of time and changes in living places and ways of living just take its toll in different ways. I cannot complain for I was guilty of causing my children to lose something they treasured also. When they were young around the ages of 7, 8 or 9 I had made little cloth dogs for them. The one for my son was green checked gingham and the one for my daughter was pink checked gingham. I made them for them at Christmas and they were identical. After some years had passed and they had outgrown those stuffed toys I gave them away to a neighbor child without asking their permission. I learned how much they valued them when they saw them laying out in the yard of our neighbor. They were crushed to see their own dear toys had been cast out so carelessly by their mother. If I had known they treasured them so I would never have given them away. This past year I made a diligent search online to find a pattern to make those same doggies over again, to no avail. A lesson learned, do not discard the property of others. The old adage still applies, one man's trash is another man's treasure.

Influence and Inspiration

The past few days I have been reading a book on women of the American Revolution. They are really inspiring stories, for these women to have done the things they did at that time when they were not even allowed to vote. We have all heard stories of people who acted beyond their human strength to accomplish what seemed impossible. War stories of bravery are examples of this. There is something within the human psyche which lifts us up to meet challenges in life which seem most unlikely. Helen Keller is one example of such a person beating the odds. Thank God that we are wired to try to excel in the face of adversity. Where does this urge to surge come from?? It cannot be human strength alone, there is more to it than that. Whatever it is or whatever its origin I think we all have the capacity for greatness. It just needs to be tapped at the precise time it is called for to quality for greatness. Is it that it exerts itself in only some of us at certain times. I have never been tapped for such acts but I have been inspired to do more than I had intended to do under some circumstances.

Some challenges go unmet and others seem to hit the right spot to cause us to respond. Last year , the last Sunday of December our pastor was away on vacation and one of our members led our S.S. class. He spoke of resolutions and asked if anyone had made any. One humorist said he had made one, it was "not to keep any resolutions he had made". I have never made resolutions for a new year and did not intend to do so then. But as the days passed I began to think of his challenge to us. It was to do something this coming year which would help us to grow in our faith. My immediate thoughts were that my faith was already set and what could I really do to help it grow. An idea began to form in my mind and I took paper and pen, scissors and Bible and began a project which has lasted almost a full year. I have stuck with it and it has been interesting and has given me a feeling of reality regarding the characters in the Bible. What I have done is this. I cut paper into slips just the right size to write one Bible verse on it. I began on the 25th of December. At first it was just hunt and write anywhere in the Bible. Whatever caught my eye and seemed interesting or new to me went down on the paper. Eventually I focused in on the book of Luke. I found some of the stories so interesting I just kept on chapter after chapter and that is where I am now.

The reading I was doing the past couple of days was in response to a challenge also but of a different sort. One enthusiastic lady in our DAR is really fired up about literacy. She is trying to fire us all up also. She had been a reading teacher in the past, as have I, so her challenge resonated with me. Consequently I responded to it and yesterday I purchased five books to be given away at some point in the near future. Every meeting that I attend for the DAR there are challenges at every turn. One cannot respond to them all but it the shoe fits, wear it - I suppose !!

When I was nineteen years old I was given a life challenge, though I think it was just meant to be an encouraging remark to a young girl far from home who was just at the beginning of her adult life. My instructor told me that he believed I could do anything in life that I wanted to do. That gave me a star on which to hang my dreams. I think of it only in times of reflection for the rest of the time I am too busy "doing things" to even think of it. But, it was remembered.

My children are my encourager's now. They are very supportive for any crazy thing I want to do. Even if they think it is hair brained they do not say so. I discard the unworthy or really impractical ideas and stick with the attainable ones. Entering my pickles in the county fair this fall was a new and interesting challenge. Winning a blue ribbon for them made it fun too !

I suppose the point of all this mind searching is that we can be lifted up when least expected. Perhaps being open to possibilities is key to reaching goals. Choosing words carefully, especially when falling on young ears may result in some life altering way for them. I must remember this for myself, especially since almost everyone I know is younger than me. !!

Food memories

Occasionally I remember things about food from the past. This is triggered by something I am eating or see in magazines. I recently found some beautiful big grapefruit and have been enjoying them. I had intended to use them in a citrus salad with oranges, avocado and romaine lettuce for a church dinner. An illness interrupted this plan so I have been enjoying them solo. What I remembered about them is the way my oldest brother would eat them. Apparently he liked them as much as I do for when he had eaten all the pulp he could get from a grapefruit half, he would squeeze it and enjoy the rest of the juice in a spoon.

My sister and her husband grew their own broccoli and put it in their freezer chest. When she steamed the broccoli she would add butter and squeeze lemon juice over it. Smelling the lemon juice and the melted butter just made a lasting impression on me.

My other sister Frances went to a lot of trouble to make sandwiches for a picnic. She grated the cheddar cheese for her pimento cheese. For lemonade on these occasions she used fresh lemons and to top it all off she made peanut butter fudge. I was very young when I saw her do this and thankfully she took me along on her family picnics. These picnics with her and her husband and three children were always memorable. They had a hug tent for overnight camping, usually at Norris Lake in Tennessee. I remember seeing her making the fudge over a small camping stove sitting on a picnic table. Is it any wonder that everyone loved Frances ??

At Thanksgiving our family gathered usually at my sister Frances' home. Her husband would go hunting in the morning and we would all have the "big" meal in the late afternoon. My mother's contribution was a pineapple pear salad on lettuce with shredded cheese over it all.

Growing up most people had gardens and we were no exception. My mother raised chickens too, housing them in a large coop in the garage off the driveway. So fried chicken dinners on Sunday were frequently on the menu. We had a neighbor from our church who joined us almost every Sunday. Her name was Gladys Billips. To the meal she would always bring a large plate of sliced fresh tomatoes from her tomato plants. The other Sunday menu would be a beef roast which simmered along while we were all at Sunday service. Mom had a huge heavy metal pot called a "drip drop roaster" which she used for this meal. I suppose she learned over time just how long it took to cook a big beef roast in this pan. It had to be huge as we were ten in number and usually someone else was added to the big round oak table on Sundays.

Once my childhood friend Winifred Fore had a sleepover at her house for a few friends. In the morning for breakfast her mother had fried chicken, gravy, biscuits and probably fried apples. I remember that breakfast as I had never had such a huge meal that early in the day. At our house it was oatmeal with raisins and whole milk from the cows my father raised - his hobby ! Of course it came in handy for feeding the eight children. My mother wanted to make sure we all had plenty of milk. Her reason was personal for she lost her teeth when she was twenty years old due to lack of calcium in her diet as a child.

When I was around 12 years old my father was diagnosed with diabetes and from that time on our mother had balanced meals which he could enjoy . Big desserts were not on the menu. She would say if you want something sweet, put jam on your bread. My mother said your plate should be colorful , with something sweet balanced with something tart. Things like this stick in your memory. My food memories from the past are happy ones. I wish the same for you.

Things I Cannot Discard

We all have our favorite "junk". Every year our church has a "rummage" sale and we see a lot of those things on sale. A gentleman who used to work for me was always asking me when our church was having a rummage sale. He was delighted to find some great shirts for 25 cents !! I too have been guilty of dumping old stuff at these sales, but rarely do I go in and buy any of it, unless it is a book !! I am drawn to books on sale, or not on sale.

I was reminded of this recently when I went looking for some material in my stash of cloth. I did find what I was looking for and proceeded to use it. Most women who sew save cloth so that is not so unusual.

How many of them hang onto doll beds they had as a child? I have an oak doll bed which my father had made for me the Christmas I was twelve years old. I saved it and took it with me where ever I lived. My daughter played with it and she had it in her home before the birth of her first child. She even made a quilt for it, but alas her little boy was not much for dolls so it found its way back to me, here in Georgia. This bed originated in Ky., went to Maryland, and then on to Atlanta, Georgia, now in north Georgia and sitting on end with a broken leg ! But I cannot part with it. One day I will have the leg repaired and perhaps make a quilt for it myself - from some of that cloth I have been saving.

And then there are old photographs. It is a good thing that folks keep them. I only wish more of them had been saved. I love the picture of my baby brother at age 5 pulling back on the arrow to shoot what ever he had in his sight! And the picture of my father, his parents, sister, husband and boys all sitting on a porch for a family portrait is priceless. Once when my sister ran across a newspaper article in a historical search she let out a scream. Why? She had found a long lost photograph of our grandfather, professor C.W. Matthis. So, blessings on all of you who keep those family photographs, even when they were taken with a box brownie.

Wedding bands are hard to part with. I have two in my jewelry box. They will never be worn again. One reminds me of what a marriage is supposed to be and the other of what a marriage is not supposed to be. But they are both part of my life. I have jewelry given to me by my sister which is simply packed away. Some other pieces given to me are stored but not worn, still I cannot pitch them out, or put them in the rummage sale.

Paintings my oldest sister painted as far back as the 1960's are such a part of my home that it would seem wrong for them not to be there. Also I enjoy having them there as a part of my past which cannot be reclaimed.

How about papers that my children brought home from school in those early years? Guilty of keeping in storage. I run across them sometimes when I am looking for some records in my file cabinet and I still do not want to part with them. Also the cards and letters which came when the babies came. All of these things have a sentimental tug and are related to people who mean more to me than the things themselves. It may be that my subconscious mind is telling me that if I discard them I am discarding the ones I love and that I could never do.

This line of thinking caused me to remember the medicines on my shelf, so I took a look to see if I really needed all of those. I was amazed to see how many of them had expired years ago. Well, I have no emotional attachment to those. In fact it may not even be safe to have them around so without one twinge of regret I cleared off that medicine shelf and unceremoniously pitched them in the trash can. Now I have a nice clear space in that cabinet which can be used for something else. That was really easy to do ! While I am in that kind of mood I really should look in my closets to see what is there that could be cleared out to make room for something more stylish. That could even be fun !! The styles are always changing and last years clothing may seem a bit out of place today. It is not necessary to have a reason to go shopping but perhaps I can find one anyway, in my closet !